A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! I hope you can help guide me on an issue. There's this guy that I've worked with for over 3 years, and he and I have flirted with each other for that long. He's had a g/f and I have a b/f but it seems now that this guy and I want to take our flirtations further because we both expressed our interests of taking things beyond flirtations. I realize it's sensitive because we need to break off with our current partners, but he and I have really developed a strong attraction for each other. Although we look for ways at work to be around each other, I'm wondering if I should back off somewhat so maybe he'll make the next move (I made the last one by waiting for him after work but he couldn't make it because of job commitment which has to come first). In the past when I backed off he pursues me more but now we're in a more emotionally connected stage where we're drawing each other closer and don't know if backing off would be a good thing at this stage. What do you think? As strange as it may sound, most of our communication is non-verbal, and only he and I understand what's going on between us. It's truly amazing to me how this works but it's so true how actions speak louder than words.
View related questions:
at work, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Just try to strike a balance. There seems no need to go to either extremes of rushing in or holding back. Since you two seem to have such a good, natural mutual attunement, just continue to go with the flow. Be available, but not too demanding, leave a healthy amount of space, but maintaining the sense of warmth and understanding. It seems like things are developing just fine, obviously the issues of other relationships and the work environment have to guide your actions for the time being.
I know all of that is vague. I really like your story because I have had (and currently have) very similar experiences. There is not enough discussion about what these nonverbal and somewhat constrained relationship are like, how potent and emotional and special they can be. All your interactions are subtle and "hidden". Every little motion, glace or gaze, touch, facial expression, smile, fluctuation of tone of voice, etc. conveys so much in a secret language only the two of you fully understand. It's great! I'd love to hear more detail. Are you guys similar in age? How often and for how long are you typically around each other? Have you spent any time together outside of work? How are you guys feeling about your current relationships?
(K)
|
