A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have met this guy in a Christian group and he was married with 3 children and from the conversation that we have his relationship with his wife was not good for a long time when he discover that her wife has another affair with someone. We are both working abroad and away from family. Lately we have constant communication because he ask me for advice and now I feel that I'm beginning to fall for him. I love my husband and my children. Please help me how to avoid this man since we are in the same Christian goup.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): Very simple answer - stop constantly communicating with him.You don't work together, so communication is by choice. Find another christian group if you have to. Until then, find another woman in the group and become her friend - spend your time w/ her, rather than w/ him.Of course you're falling for him w/ all the constant communication. You are playing w/ fire. Seriously. It will be hard to just stop talking to him, but that is the only way you will be able to turn off the unwanted feelings that are starting to grow. Think of it like dealing w/ an ex-bf -- you don't want to cut them out of your life - you want to think you can just 'be friends', but as long as there are feelings, you can't. Whatever you may think you have w/ this guy, your marriages are more important, and if you stop relying on each other, you'll be forced to turn back to your marriages and rely on resolving things internal to them.It's also worth noting that if you're feeling this way, your husband is probably also acutely aware that something is not quite right. Don't lie to him. I'm not saying you need to tell him you have a crush on some other guy - in fact, I don't advise it. But if he's asking you abt it, you need to be honest w/ him that you feel a gulf b/w the two of you. And if he's not asking you abt it, you need to be the one to bring it up and tell him you're saddened by it and sorry for it, and that you want to repair it.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 March 2008):
 FEAR GOD!
Keep that in your mind and it will stop you from crossing into that devil's territories.
Treat him like a Christian brother and nothing more.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 March 2008):
 You need to keep reminding yourself what's at stake. To avoid falling in love, you have to keep your "mental" priorities in line. And being part of the same Christian group, have faith. For me, it's simple. I live my life every day at home or away from home as if my children are there watching me and judging my actions. You said you love your husband, so allow the love you have for him keep you strong through this. Remember as the bible states, we'll go through many trials, and some of which will seem as they are firey trials. It's not the trial that matters, but how we handle them.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (2 March 2008):
 What a crock....Cheating is a conscious decision, and if you feel that you are falling for him and that you are going to cheat with him, then you better re-examine your faith. lol!QUIT YOUR GROUP! DUH! Work on YOUR marriage! DUH!Cut of contact withthis schlub! DUH!Is that Christian enough for ya?Sorry, but you will find I have no tolerance for cheaters, or those who may even be considering it!
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