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anonymous
writes: A friend of mine split with her boyfriend, i was there for her and we became closer, and eventually lovers. Her boyfriend then came back, asked her to marry her and she accepted. I'm very happy for her, but can't get her out of my head - the problem's worse because we work together! Help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005): I am in the same sort of situation. My ex boyfriend left me for a girl he had became very close to and always insisted he just liked her as a mate but I could tell he had really fallen for her. She was on the rebound and decided to use my ex to make hers jealous. Everyone could see what she was doing but he was oblivious. She filled his head with crap and made him believe she really like him. I still really loved him and tried so hard to make him see what she was doing but this made him so nasty to me and he completely shut me out of his life, thinking I was just out to cause trouble. Anyway, 3 months later this girl gets back with her ex and dumps my ex without a care. I heard through mutual friends that hes very hurt but Im also hurt that this girl could ruin my life as well as his, just to make hers better.My ex will never come back to me now as I believe that he still loves her, and I could never take him back cos hes hurt me too much. Its a sad fact of life that some girls will suck you in and spit you out at their convenience. I would forget about her and not even stay friends with her. She must of known it hurt you when she just left you, and if she thinks you have forgivven her then she may try to do this to you again the next time she feels like it. Get over her, a woman like that aint worth pining over.
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reader, lost N love +, writes (30 November 2005):
I have been that girl that broke up with my man and ended up in the arms of my friend. Since then my ex has asked me to mary him, broken up with me, gotten back together with my friend, and so on and so on... It is never over till the fat lady sings. Also remember that she was/is a friend and hopefully you want let the fact that you two have had sex and got involved to change how you feel for her and always have. Trust me when I say this she is thinking about you aswell but for now just let life take its course and see how everything plays out
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reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (29 November 2005):
 Poor you, you ignored 3 long standing rules about getting involved with people and expecting long term relationships.1. Dont get involved with friends. They dont always work out, as you have got together mostly through the 'comfort' factor, rather than the 'passion' factor.2. Dont expect anything to come of a relationship that starts when someone is on the 'rebound'. Your friend was on the rebound, you were the easy option for her. I sympathise at how fast she dropped you at the first sign of the other guy!3. Dont go out with anyone you work with. Relationships dont last, sometimes they do, but mostly they dont. This means it is likely you will have a break up and have to face the person every day.You cant get her out of your head?Well, you CANT go out with her - she isnt yours, never was - you just borrowed her while the real man in her life was away.So you are going to have to try harder on that 'head' thing, and learn from your mistakes.Just look on it as a nice experience (i presume the loving was good while it lasted), and get on with finding someone else.
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