A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I went out to dinner with an ex boyfriend last night after he asked me out. He split from his girlfriend over 4 months ago but he spent possibly half the night talking about her - he even showed me a picture of her. I found this to be extremely hurtful as I thought we were getting on quite well - he had been texting and phoning me for a few weeks before I agreed to meet him. Other than this he was a perfect gent, was funny and attentive and has said we will have dinner again soon. I am now totally confused as I thought we were heading for a reconciliation - his text and conversation led me to believe that but he didn't even give me a kiss on the cheek when I left. Please can someone give me any advice on what all the ex girlfriend stuff could have meant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): I may only be 22 and not have a huge life long experience in dating but I have to say, any man on a date talking about his ex and even showing pictures of her is clearly not over her yet. He shouldnt even be thinking about her. He should be thinking about you and be happy and excited to be there with you and thinking about the future and what could be the beginning of a relationship with you. Not concentrating on the past and his ex. And showing you a picture of her?? No wonder you were hurt! I think i would've just got up and walked out! He's old enough to know the rules of dating. and rule number 1 is dont spend half the night talking about your ex girlfriend or other girls you are attracted to. He's not ready for another relationship yet so move on with someone else. if you end up really liking this guy you will just be hurt because he's still got his ex on the brain so get out now while its still early days and find another man who's funny and attentive and not on the rebound x x x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Thank you - I will add that we were in contact by phone and text while he was still with his girlfriend allbeit infrequently. I, too, thought it could be a nervous thing but we did go out for over 18 month - and he didn't seem particularly nervous. I could understand the company thing if he thought we could pick up where we left off - but he never made a move on me!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 It sounds like he was jilted by his ex and wanted some company. Anyone that discusses past romances on a date is a real bore.
It's time for you to find someone new, and not rehash an old fling.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 February 2007):
 You know what? I think he was nervous. The last guy I dated went on and on and on about his exes on the first date. Yes it's odd but it's not hurtful. It shows that he cares for her (not still in love but still cares) and by keeping bringing her up was more than likely just a reaction to nerves and not knowing what to say than anything else. Give him another chance. Something tells me he may mention her a few times more but probably not. If it's really getting to you, say in a jokey way "Goodness, maybe we should invite her along next time to stop her ears burning!" He should get the hint.
CD
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