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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend was two days late on her period last month, but she did menstruate. This still left me wondering though, because she is on birth control, and we have been able to time her periods almost to the minute. She is very regular. Anyways. She messaged me today saying that she was pregnant.This later turned out to be a joke that she played on me with her friends, but I am afraid that she might be lieing about it being a joke. If I tell her that she made me mad about the joke I will look like an ass if she really is pregnant. In all reality being lied to like that, and manipulated pisses me off, but I am not sure how to act. I am not against having children, and someday I want to marry this woman, but neither one of us is ready for that yet.-Please Help
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 November 2005):
 Talk to her privately about this. Avoid blame or argument. Don't accuse, but speak calmly and sincerely. Tell her that you appreciate that she was probably being egged on by her friends, but that you didn't think the 'joke' was funny under the circumstances. Then ask her please not to do that sort of thing again.
Because of the scare you had, and her late period, maybe you can discuss whether she'd be willing to double-check things by having a pregnancy test done. That will either clear any lingering doubt, or clarify matters completely.
If you think that she might accidentally-on-purpose try to fall pregnant, by for example, "forgetting" her pill, then you personally need to start to take more responsibility for contraception. Get a large packet of condoms, and use them every time. It's a small sacrifice, really.
I understand your being a little miffed and angry about a joke in such poor taste. The fact that your girlfriend could be coerced into doing that suggests to me that she might have some sort of ulterior motive, or try to be working you around to the idea of having a child. If that's not something you're ready for, I urge you to bring the topic up with her RIGHT NOW and say so, so that there's no question in her mind.
In fact, you're probably due for a discussion about the future between you and what you both expect in the years(?) to come, if only to stave off a real pregnancy that she thinks you'll come around to if she springs it on you in a "fun" way.
Since kids aren't a present you can return, and since your girlfriend doesn't seem to be thinking completely clearly about the seriousness of this matter, it might fall to you to pick up the slack and make sure there are no further "mistakes" or "jokes".
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