A
male
age
36-40,
*ordbyron
writes:This sweet girl I've dated 2 months had just ended a year-long relationship (broke up w/ a VERY strange man who would no longer touch her in bed). Said she wasn't ready for a new commitment.We worked together at a camp. Spent every day together, not taking it too seriously. We were intimate (but didn't have sex - too soon). Then we returned home; she would drive 1/2 hour to come see me. I took her out, cooked for her, pleased her frequently. We talk on the phone for hours every night.Now I'm 5 hours away for law school, and both of us sold our cars to pay for school. She says she is unsure how to handle the distance (bad experiences in her past). BUT she says she is excited to come see me. She adds, however, it "probably" won't be for another month because her friends are making her "go out of state with them" and she has to adjust to being around her creepy ex (he inserted himself into her friend group at school).So, we used to see each other every day - and she would text me things like "You're amazing," "I think this could be something really good" and "I can't wait to see you again." And now she is waiting a month to come see me. Am I being played? I told her that I would come see her instead, but she said she's "not ready for that." We still talk every night, and I was thinking of texting her something sweet today - but I stopped myself and just went on with my day..lol. kinda annoyed
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female
reader, outoftime19  +, writes (31 August 2012):
Sorry to break it to you, but this is long distance relationships for you. They are not like normal ones where even seeing eachother just once a week is too little. With a 5hour gap between you, once a month isn't bad going. You need to evaluate whether this kind of commitment, with all its money,time and sex implications, is something you want to get into
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): She sounds genuine and sincere, she's interested in you, and considering the circumstances, that's the best she can do for now, but its better than nothing.
Just take it at her pace and don't push her into something she's not ready for, this will only push her away.
The next guy she gets with she needs him to be understanding, respectful and considerate of her and her feelings, you could be that guy if you just have patience and bide your time with her.
I doubt you're being played and I reckon if things were to fizzle out between you two now, she'd be as upset and disappointed about it as you.
Just take things slowly and allow things to develop as they will.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): It can be frustraitng in situations like these, worrying about drifting apart.
You are most likely not being played, simply because of the patience required for this, players would most likely consider this a waste of time.
She gave you the answers you need already, she is not ready for a new commitment.
Please do not consider that a bad thing cause it actually appears to be a good thing. All this means is that she just wants to take her time with this. She saw what happened in her last relationship and doesnt want to rush into another mistake. She is obviously quite interested man just be patient, send her a text every now and then to show your interest is not fading. But dont smother her, she is trying to have a good time with friends right now.
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