A
male
age
,
*eu22
writes:I am married and have been having an affair with a married woman for 6 years. We are both in our late 50's with no kids at home. We both work for the same company but in different states. Our affair started after some playful flirting on one of my frequent visits to her work site. Since we both work for the same company our emails and phone calls were constant. My assignments often last 45-60 days and we discovered early on that we were "made to be together". Her husband works out of town the same periods of time when I am in her town. This has worked out so well for her and I that I would be able to live with her in her house and sleep with her in "their" bed. It was like we were married. At the time when this was going strong I never felt guilty about this and that feeling is not strong now either. I know it was wrong but we were so right together. During our early years we talked about leaving our spouses and being together but medical issues with my wife always seemed to keep me from pulling the trigger. Just about 9 months ago my "soulmate" informed me that because of her grandkids and guilt she was going to try to make her marriage work. I didn't believe she was serious until during my assignment last fall she informed me that not only could I not stay with her but the only time we could be together was in the company of other friends. I am having an extremely difficult time in handling not being with her. I still call and email, though I shouldn't. I find ways to see her at work and though she said we will still be friends I can't let go of deeper feelings. She is very outgoing and when I see her talking with other men it drives me crazy. She recently reminded me that in our early years she was willing to give up all she had to be with me. It appears that I drug my feet until she decided things would never be other than "just an affair". I have never loved my wife or any other woman as I love her and don't want to let go, but I am beginning to understand that I must.How in the world do I let go? I think of her constantly. It seems that everthing I do reminds me of her and what we had together. I am a strong grown man but this pain has brought me to my knees. As wonderful, magical and intense as our love was it feels as though the pain of this ending is a thousand times in the reverse direction. Help please!!!
View related questions:
affair, at work, flirt, married woman, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): somewhere here you expect some sympathy, don't you. sympathy for using another mans wife, stealing his resources, defiling his home, his bed.......his possessions. take a hard critical look at yourself. you say that you don't feel any guilt. this speaks volumes of you as a person.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Yes...You are real capable to feel intense feeling of love. So, life is such. Love has message of life, and its absence has message of death. Greatest love story of the world has same one message. But you are unique, by deciding not to divorce your wife, because of of her medical reason.
I suggest you to read great voice of philosopher, of poet, of novelist, on the subject of love, and write your voice on the subject.
Don't let it go, but take your love to such a great height, that it became WORSHIP. IT IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TALENT.
BEST LUCK.
...............................
|
