A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there all. I've only recently stumbled upon this site and I find the community very approachable. So, here's my problem.. It's rather lengthy so please bare with me.Here's a background of our relationship. We are dating. It has been 7 months. Our parents know about us being together. Everyone is on good terms with each other. I have recently been spending a lot of time with her family at her house. Thing is.. I am beginning to feel too much of a family-person than a person who should be loving his darling. Also, she has not been herself lately and honestly I am simply disturbed as her actions make me feel uncomfortable around her and I'm beginning to change myself. The change is making me feel neutral about the connection between us and I don't like it. I would certainly love to feel that smitten aura around her again..The change? In the beginning of the relationship, she was all bubbly and we enjoyed each others company. We did sports together, hung out after lessons together (In our cliques, of course!). Later we decided to date and we started kissing (not in school compounds). However, the school somehow did not approve of us being together although nothing was affected and things started to get rough. The school decided to poke their nose into our matters and make it a huge problem, and attempted to break us up. We acted as if they did but this left a wound into our hearts and things started to change.Our grades dropped Greatly due to all the pressure from the school and now we have been separated from our classes.Whole lot of other factors too but bottom line is that we now have communication problems. We have nothing much to talk about anymore, do not know what to do anymore, feel that we are beginning to lack things in common. All to the extent that kissing or even frenching.. it just doesn't have that heavenly feel of fuzzy warmness and heavenliness anymore.So 2-3 days ago, I texted her about how I was feeling and she replied with her "Why? Why have you lost feelings? I feel it too.." and changed her blog mood to something really really down. Like I said, she's soft-spoken and doesn't usually do this kinda things. I later proposed a meet up to talk about things and she agreed.So friendly community, my question here is what am I to do with the current situation? Those trails we've been through together have shaken us and we both aren't ourselves anymore. It has been going on for awhile so when we meet up, what am I to expect or say? We both do Not want break up as an option but do not know how to remedy this issue either.
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female
reader, scythe  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 You sound very mature and well-spoken for a 13-15 year old :) well done.
How long have you and your girl been going out? Perhaps you're just in a sort of passionless phase. I recommend that you stick in there for a bit longer and see if yours and her feelings improve.
And definitely meet up with her to talk about it - I think that communication and honesty makes relationships work :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay thanks to everyone who replied! I will put in the effort to bring my partner out for more dates and to realize how much she means to me. I guess things will be able to work out after all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): I'm currently going through the exact same thing. But, our obstacles that we went over really destroyed us, but we still love each other. So we're taking time off from each other and trying to see if we really want to be together. My advice would be, that if it is too much to bare, you two should take time apart, about a month at least, to realize what you saw in each other, and see what you missed. :) That will help you to realize that maybe there is some spark in it after all.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 This is natural - you settle into a relationship, settle into truly being yourself around each other. This is where you have to work at keeping the spark alive, stop hanging out at her house so much, make the effort to go out on dates, pick her up from her house, take her to the cinema etc. You can't keep the initial honeymoon period alive forever, unfortunately!
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