| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years, we where friends for about 10 years. In our past relationships we where both cheated on, he developed jealousy I did not. We are polyamorous, and can openly check out other people or bring them home with 100% full communication, no doubts, no miscommunications. The thing that gets me, he is insanely jealous of all his male friends that come over to visit. He admits the problem lies with in him self, but is there any way to handle this with out sounding like a broken record every time?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Again...breakdown in communication. He is unable to express or convey his concerns where you will understand and YOU are unable to listen.
Again...counseling. Get it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have no interest in any of his male friends. I have never done any thing with any one, cheating is wrong I would never consider it. We have brought one male friend of his home about a year ago, at his choosing, and there was no jealousy or miscommunications. The Poly life is some thing we have both lived before we got together. I am more open to it than he is, I just don't understand how he can be so open to what we do but so jealous of the stuff that is not there? He has never been upset about any of the female friends we bring over. It is just the male friends that we have nothing to do with sexualy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Polyamory, in its broadest usage, is the practice or lifestyle of being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly. ~ from online wikipedia
Whose idea was this? Yours or his? Who first brought this idea to the table?
It is apparent that you both consented to his; I assume.
It sounds like this is no longer the case; it does not sound like he is emotionally able to be polyamorous.
Does he now find it he no longer wishes to "share" your love?
I think it needs to be re-evaluated and re-decided.
I think he needs to know why he feels why he does and to know it isn't wrong to want to be "monogamous". Maybe it just doesn't fit in with your lifestyle.
Monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one mate during a period of time. The word monogamy comes from the Greek word monos, which means one or alone, and the Greek word gamos, which means marriage or union. It literally means being married to one person. People currently apply the term monogamy to both married and unmarried couples.~ taken from online wikipedia.
Either way, there is a breakdown in communication...he can not fully express his needs and you can not fully listen nor understand what he is doing his best to convey.
Time to head to the couple's counselor to sort this one out as it seems like there is lack of open and receptive communication.
Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Wow, what a situation. I am not judging you b/c you're polyamorous, to each his own, but could that be aggravating the situation? Seems as if polyamorous and jealousy should be mutually exclusive (in a perfect world). What you didn't explicity say, though, is whether you're interested or have done anything with his male friends. What happens when you bring your female friends over?
...............................
|
