A
female
age
36-40,
*ary
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3yrs now, I sleep at his house everyday but I still have my stuff at my house and pay rent there.He's told me before plenty of times how come I don't move in and I told him he keeps telling me that but yet he doesnt make any room for my things.We decided to have a baby and now we're both so happy and expecting twins but still havent moved in.He said that once he kicked his cousin out of the back house we will be living there since we now stay in the fron house with his dad.His dad i9s a very difficult person to live with and does not like noise or anything.My boyfriend has been telling me since october of last year that we should be moving in anytime to the back house and nothing.It is now the new year and we love eachother very much but im running out of patience.I hate that after work I go to My house shower change and then off to his house.I hate that Im still paying rent somewhere where I dnt even sleep,eat or anything.How do I approach him about this.Like I mentioned,we are expecting twins and I really want to start saving up money.Sometimes I feel like just telling him to give me a time frame to me moving in or Im just going to stay at my house with the babies.Of course breaking up is not an option cus other than this we're happy.I feel like telling him to move in with me which I know he doesnt want that cus he really doesnt like my fam or we should just look for another place.So please how do I Come about this issue with him without being a bitch about it or him getting the wrong idea.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Start making plans to make the move. Have a cup of coffee at the kitchen table and outline how you're going to make the move, space arrangements, etc. Block off time in your calendar to make the move and start packing. If he's not into it, or puts it off more, I'd say this is a red flag. Tell him you will not be hauling two infants around multiple times a day to sleep over at his house while all of yours and the babies' stuff is at yours.
I'd say you're being very reasonable, but he needs a nudge in the right direction -- show him you really mean it.
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