A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. I have been in a Long distance relationship for 1.5 years. I am a few years older then the girl, shes going into last year of school now. Pretty much We had a GREAT relationship for the whole time, I was in love with her, and she was in love with me. We talked for hours and hours in voice chat, and all the usual picture swapping, and made presents for each other and stuff. We talked about being together forever, and how we would have a life together one day. She was my DREAM girl, exactly how id describe her.So just after christmas, she tells me she has feelings for a guy at her school, and eventually, I see she wants to be with him, and I say That I love her so much, I just want her to be happy, so I let her go so she could be happy. So pretty much For a week i was devestated, couldn't barely eat or anything. We have talked alot since, and even today, had a 2 hour voice convo, and it was like nothing changed, until the boy friend rang up. He had for 30 seconds before, but she brushed him off, but this time I heard for a minute them talking, and i nearly broke down, but yeah, she said she had to go etc.So that was today, we have said we would be freinds etc, and I still want too. Im still hoping ONE DAY, we might be together, but im not counting on it, she has even said if things dont work out... But yeah, I dont want to pin my hopes on one day we will be together.So even though today we have a GREAT talk, and she said it was sooo fun, I just feel like I need to get over her. Now, Should I, cut off all contact with her for a while, then try and resume being friends, or should I just keep talking 2 her and get over her in time???I do not want to just give up contact forever, she still is the funnest person to talk 2 and everything, but yeah, I dont know what to do!Any advice would be appreciated, thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Hi there, not sure what to say other than I feel for you. I'd recomend you check this LDR forum and ask them. It's quite active http://www.waiit.com/forum/index.php
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): Thanks guys.
Griffo- Thanks alot for the advice. I see what you mean. The biggest reason she chose him over me was because I was online, and he was there in person, and she was sick of watching the sunsets alone and not having someone there for her... and I accepted that. She said if I was there in person, she would already have been with me, and therefore wouldn't have gone for the other guy.
I have been thinking soo hard about today, if I should just not log onto our chat program for however long. Ive come to realize that mabey its not the best idea, because, even though I think it would help me get over her a bit faster, It would hurt so much, because we still tell each other everything about our lives/days, and I dont know what id do without sharing stuff with her.
I feel like ive grown alot from this already, and have done the best anyone can in this situation not to push her away, and still be her friend. I just dont think cutting off contact is worth it right now. I really think there is a chance something could happen between us later on, when she is in colledge, and I can go visit her... she even said its a possibility if things don't work out with the other guy. she has still said she loves me a few times, even after she broke it off... which only happen so easily because I knew I either could make it longer and harder for her, or just accept it probably would happen, and let her go.
Even today, she thanked me so much for cheering her up because something bad happened to her today and she was really upset.
But yeah, right now, Hopefully I can just keep talking 2 her like we always did, which is pretty much what we are doing, but at the same time, accept that there are no guarantees that anything will happen between us again. I still really do love her so much, and I am willing to wait a few years to see what happends... dumb or smart, i dont know, All I know is this was the most impossibly perfect girl for me, and I don't think id feel right if I just lost all hope this easy...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): Dear Heartbroken Aussie,You're dealing with the side effects of a lingering crush from an old relationship. What has been done (ending the relationship) is water under the bridge...you can't get it back.It will be tough to let this one go, to reject this rejection you've encountered, but it's needed. I've been there, too.You must be your own man here. If she's fanicied someone else and her feelings for you are no longer there then you will need to create more distance. Being friends for you sounds like it won't do. Create further distance for a little while, find someone new, and then reapproach the old relationship turned plutonic friendship with new, refreshed eyes. Best wishes.- Texan Advice
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (18 January 2009):
 If you cut of communication with her you should tell her that you need some time away say six months, then meet up again after that. But be cautious that if you do this the relationship you have now with her could change forever.
I personally think your in a great position with her now, you've let her go with another guy and maintained the friendship, WELL DONE! so be her Forrest Gump or Benjamin button and always be her friend. Always be there for her. Friendship is far greater than love. It lasts forever and a special love between you both in this instance will likely grow between you, I see it already has. If you keep maintaining this well and that means not keep bringing (you and her) up all the time she will most likely develop this love for you more and more. So just be her friend and stick by her always.
Cheers :)
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