A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem.I doubt anyone will want to help me but I hope so.I took a girl out on our first ever date, and we went clubbing..we preceeded to get horribly drunk, and had to get a motel because I didnt want to risk driving her home...there was one bed so I let her have it and I had the floor..beings she is a girl.about an hour or so after we turned out the lights she began to come onto me, which was cool..I asked her if she wanted me and she didnt say no..but not yes either..so we had foreplay, and she was into it as was I til I entered her..then she started acting weird...she quit responding alltogether..I asked if she wanted to stop she said no its ok..but the whole time she just closed her eyes and laid there, still.I get pretty worked up like most guys do when I am about to orgasm, and I really got into it..and she started crying so I quit, then she asked me not to stop so I finished..afterwords she rolls over and starts crying..and wont let me touch her..when I woke sometime later she was gone..she just texted me and said I shouldnnt have done that..thats all.Did I mess up? I made sure she wanted what we did..now i am scared. what do I do?
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female
reader, Allison_23 +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Well to tell u the truth i think it wasn't cause she never said no or pushed off. If she would have said no and u kept on then it would have but she never told u anything so i think it isnt rape
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): You know... you might've just taken her virginity... or maybe she's got other issues.Regardless, there's something she wasn't telling you. Find out what it is. and remember to be nice to her.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (10 June 2009):
 Some of the previous answers are incorrect. The fact that she was drunk while she said yes does not mean she properly consented in law in some countries.
I agree with one of the previous writers who said it could have been her first time. That's why you need to show a little maturity here and get in touch with her. She needs to learn that it wasn't shameful and that you are not a monster. Just be nice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): No you did ask her,and stop
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A
female
reader, *problems* +, writes (10 June 2009):
 you are not in the wrong, she could have said to you up straight No , or stop but she didnt! you need to speak to her ! the longer you leave the worse it may get because she will be thinking about it more! she could also get the police involved ! you need to let her know what happened and she should really explain the way she was instead of leaving you thinking you have done something wrong! it could have been her 1st time and it might not have went the way she hoped! remember you were BOTH drunk not just her! yo should get this sorted , hope you do xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): I think it was properly her first time. Maybe she feels you took advantage of her as she was drunk but you asked her several times and she could have pushed you off. Really I leave this one alone
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): you did not mess up it her failt she saild to keep on going with it so forget her
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A
female
reader, yanza +, writes (8 June 2009):
 woah now that really is mixed messages but at the end of the day you were both heavily drunk and maybe she doesnt remember the night like you do. if your even sure thats how it happened.
get in touch with her and ask her to explain what she means dont just leave it because if shes is thinking it is rape then it could become way more serious than just one drunken night.
hope this helped and good luck = }
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): My friend, forget pleasing her. She is one of those many women who themselves dont know what they want. Dont let such stupids blame you for their problems. If she cant make a decision it is her problem. It is not your responsibility to take a decision for her. Stop feeling guilty. Consider it is good if she broke up over this.. you cant waste a lifetime with such a selfish girl. And please, dont throw the word 'rape' around at the drop of a hat. If a girl or guy calls this as rape, they dont know how horrible a real rape is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I don't believe it was rape as she DID consent to it, but it sounds like she regrets it. There could be several reasons as to why she was crying: Emotional with help from the drink; it hurt when you were having sex; could have been her first time. Many other reasons why she reacted that way. You need to talk to her and ask her if she's ok and why she was so upset. If you can patch things up and you're still interested in each other, then maybe you can arrange to meet up again, but without the alcohol or sex.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 June 2009):
Just contact her about general stuff. Don't mention the night of lust. She might appreciate your being there in a non-sexual way. Ask her out for a coffee or pizza but keep it light. Just a no-strings kind of meeting. You need to show that you care in more ways than just sex. Prove you are a friend and have some genuine feelings.
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