A
female
age
36-40,
*hmshn
writes:I need help deciding if I am on the rebound.. so here is the situation.I was in a relationship for 3 years during which my partner and I were not a good match. He physically and verbally abused me, but the worst part was the fact that he tried his hardest to distance me from everyone I knew.Before I even met this boyfriend I had a good friend (we'll call him E)who had a thing for me.. he would always ask for me to be with him, and I secretly adored him but I was 2 years older than him and 3 grades ahead of him in school and back then to me that was just too huge of a deal to ignore.Well I lost all feelings for my exboyfriend a looong time ago. I could not have sex with him, even holding his hand was too much for me. I couldn't even stand to be around him anymore. I broke it off a week ago, not long after I had gotten back in touch with E. When I saw E for the first time again I just wanted to jump into his arms. I am sure this had SOME influence on me finally deciding to leave my ex, but his behavior was definitely the deciding factor.E and I have been hanging out and I like him even more now than I did then.. and he STILL after all these years apart liked me. He said he continued liking me while I dated my ex but he has respect for me so he never mentioned his feelings for me again during that time.I have been over my ex for such a long time, but I just want to make sure I'm not on the rebound. I don't even think of my ex often, in fact I never think about him unless someone else brings him up. I don't hate him and I don't love him, I just don't really care. I don't compare E to my ex, I don't think about anyone but him when we are together. I have had a thing for E since before I even met my ex, and I know I truly and genuinely LIKE him. I am trying to keep things going slow between us, but it's hard because it is like this should have happened SO long ago and when we kissed it was like fireworks were going off. Do you guys think this is just what was meant to happen? I like to think everything happens for a reason and I feel almost like my other relationship was keeping me away from E until we were both older and ready to be in a true and meaningful relationship. Or am I just rebounding.. is that possible even if I have strong feelings for him? Thanks for reading this, I'm sorry it was so long!
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female
reader, shmshn +, writes (4 August 2009):
shmshn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all of your responses! My heart swelled when I read them!! I am just so happy, and I know he is too. He is just so sweet and I'm so grateful.
Thank you again and I will keep you all posted. Best wishes xoxo
A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (4 August 2009):
It is nice to finally hear some good news coming from something bad. I think god feels you are in place to be with someone who really loves you and if god feels as though your ready then you must be. I say tell E how you feel and enjoy being in love and being with each other. It maybe a rebound but it sounds like hell good rebound to me. You deserve to be happy and if E is doing that for you and you are doing it for him then I say great. I wish you both the best and make sure you tell him you love him for being him and being there for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): ForevahBritt is right - take things slow with E to sort out your feeling and be certain. Coincidentally, I'm in a similar situation to you (although I only met my E towards the end of my abusive relationship, but everything else is basically the same). The timing wasn't right with E before, so something else happened and you learnt a lot from it, now you and E can be together. I don't think it's a rebound thing at all. I've been with my E for 2 years now and at the start I wondered about rebounds the same as you, but deep down you know if it's real :)
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