A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I caught this girl staring at me last and when I caught her she didn't look away so I kept looking until she did. I won that staring contest. then a couple days ago I was listening to my music and doing my work in art and I was just zoning out in my own world. I looked up in her direction not really thinking about her, I caught her staring at me again, and then I looked away right away cause I felt weird. I feel like I messed it up by looking away from her stare, but I just did it on instict. Only that time she was giving me a smile, and She's really attractive too.I noticed recently that she stopped staring at me. Is it because I didn't talk to her and she lost interest? Is there any hope of her taking interest in me again if I talk to her?What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 Eh my dear, if only one could spend all his life only doing what comes easy. Ah that would be great, wouldn't it... but it never happens..
If depends from the degree and manifestations of your social anxiety. If it's really a serious , crippling form that prevents you from any normal functioning in social settings , then I suggest you to see a professional , regardless of this girl, or girls in general. If instead you basically mean that you are shy and not a natural socializer, and that you need to challenge yourself to be social... then challenge yourself. No challenge, no growth. No pain no gain .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe's actually familiar with my half sister and my nephew and she doesn't know I'm related to them so I'll probably have a lot of windows of opportunity with her. Thanks for all your advice. This would sure be a lot easier if i didn't have social anxiety
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2013):
 “I won that staring contest” REALLY? What did you WIN? Do you not see how you LOST? Do you not see that it’s not a contest and not a game?
Yes she stopped looking, or caring or finding you interesting and attractive because you blew it.
Your follow up:
“yeah she started the whole staring thing”
She stopped staring because it was not getting her anything but a creepy boy staring back and her and not knowing the “come hither” look.
She wanted you to ask her out… you can go apologize to her for being an idiot (cause you were) and ask her if you can make it up to her by taking her for coffee or a drink or something light and casual like that…. And see where it goes from there.
And for future reference… next time a girl stares at you… smile BACK at her, then pick yourself up and go over to her and say “hi I’m [insert your name] you have a very pretty smile, do you mind if I sit down?”
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 April 2013):
I think Cerberus explained it . Because she did give you the " come and get me big boy ", but then you did not go get her . Maybe she thought she had sent enough of a signal ( s), and if that you did not pick them up you aren't much interested.
Look, sorry to sound brusque maybe but, really , do you always split hair like that ? Do you need to know she is really attracted or smitten or loves you dearly before going up to a girl and saying Hi ? What do you care what are her innermost motivations and why she looked at you, if YOU like her, YOU go try your luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): OP women will stop staring if all you do is stare. You become a guy who leers at them OP and they deal with that all their lives from us. When you don't respond to her smiling at you, you don't seem interested and you just become another who stares.
The easiest way to find out what her story is and whether she's interested is to ask her. We can't tell you, we're not mind readers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't mean for it to sound like I'm bragging about that lol. But yeah she only started the whole staring thing after she caught me glancing at her. She must have thought I was interested in her so that's why she kept looking at me. Do you think she just likes attention and she's not really attracted to me? Why did she stop looking at me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): Oh yeah? So you think you're the best at staring do you? Well bring it on, bitch! I'll stare you into a crumpled, quivering heap, crying and begging for his mother to come hold him and make everything better. Where do you live? I'll get on a plane right now and take you down.
So yeah, don't know why you think winning some staring contest looks anything other than weird to her OP.
I think she's given you the "come get me big boy" look and you're sitting here at your computer wondering what you should do instead of going to her and getting this done.
OP when a woman makes lingering eye contact and then smiles. That's the universal signal of interest, that's what I do. I look at them, if I catch their gaze I smile, if they look away they're not interested if they smile back I walk over.
You left out the walking over stage. Time to do that now. You could even add her on FB if you like and send her a message telling her you've seen her around, that there's a gig you're going to soon would she like to go too. etc.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 April 2013):
That I would stop the mind trips and the staring contests and just would go talk to her , what have you got to lose ?
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