A
female
age
36-40,
*ovya
writes:Hello friends.I have been dating a guy from past 10 months. Our relationship was quite good but we had some problem because of his ex. I think he is still in love with his ex. He still have her photographs and messages and still saves some memory from her. I think that is okay for me as nothing wrong in this. He told me everything about their relationship. He wanted to get married with that girl. We started dating each other in last year after 3 months of their breakup. He only proposed me. And this is my first serious relationship as i want to be with him in the future. But he never talks about our future. I found him visiting his ex profile on Facebook. I found some other things also that leaves some clue to me like he is still interested in her. When i asked him about it then he said that he doesn't have any feeling for her and he is no more interested in her life. But some days back i found that he messaged her on Facebook. He sent mine and his photographs to her and wrote that he is over her and in a relationship with me. He also wrote that she should be careful to not to cross him ever. I don't understand, was their any need to send this type of message to her after a year when they had no contact in these past months? If he is over her then he should let her happy. I am just confused what should i do? Should i leave him? Please i need your help,please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2014): Wow he's a dick. Yeah he's definitely not over her and even worse he's using you to make her jealous.
What an immature asshole move it is to send pictures of your current girlfriend to your ex. That's not only completely disrespectful to you by treating you like some tool to get at her, but it also means he's nowhere near over her. That also makes him a liar.
OP people who are over others, don't after 10 months try and make them jealous. A well adjusted man would never do anything so childish anyway.
That would be a deal breaker for me, I'd walk. He sent pictures of you to her to make her jealous and then threatened her too? Run, OP.
OP this may be your first serious relationship but you're not a fool. You know what a person does when they're over someone? Nothing, nothing at all. It's called moving on for a reason. He hasn't moved on, he suddenly started checking out her profile, I bet you my house he saw she has a new guy and then got bitter and decided to try and use you to make her jealous. Then he decided to threaten her on top of that.
Look, OP, I say run. I say this guy is bad news. If you decide this is not worth losing him over then watch your back and make him pay, OP. Make him pay big.
Do not let anyone use you in such a despicable, nasty way, you're worth more than just a tool for a bitter little shit to make his ex jealous. Remember this guy you want a future with, just threatened a woman too.
Relationships 101: If a person feels the need to tell a person they're over them, they're not actually over them. People who are, need to say nothing.
OP we create our standards in life, we have our own expectations of behaviour in people. Be honest with yourself, is this really the type of man you want to be with? What he did was cruel to her and even worse he used you to be cruel to another person. I don't think that's ever acceptable and that's not the type of person I'd want a future with.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (2 April 2014):
 He probably suffers from a bruised ego and making a point that he is happy and with you and not pining for her. I actually think he may not be completely over his ex. But I also don't think you asking him or insinuating that he is not over is going to help. YOu may just push him to reconsider whether he wants to marry you. Just remember if he wants to be with someone else nothing you say a do will stop him so let it go and focus on you and him.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (2 April 2014):
It sounds like he doesn't feel like he had closure. You don't say who dumped who, but if she dumped him it sounds more to me like he's suffering from a seriously bruised ego that he hasn't gotten over. Which of course is his issue.
No, there's nothing at all wrong with keeping pics and mementos of exes. Now, if he has her picture on his nightstand, that's a different issue entirely!
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