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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years split up with me then then just 6 weeks later she tells me she is dating someone new. Already! I can't help but think she was seeing this guy before she split up with me, or that she left me for him although she says she just met him...Is it possible for someone to move on that quickly or do you think hes just a rebound!? We were together for so long and I thought our relationship was fine, she was telling me she loved me just a few weeks before the split and then went cold for a few weeks before breaking up with me....What is the most likely explanation? a) she genuinely moved on quickly (and its normal) and thats just what happensb) she knew this guy/something was going on before she broke up with mec) hes just a rebound and shes trying to get a reaction from me(we havent really been in contact since the split since i said i wanted a clean break if she really meant it which she said she did)its not that i'm obsessing over it, i am just shocked she has a new boyfriend so soon, i would have thought she would still be getting over us or something...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (20 July 2008):
My bet is that you guys had problems on and off for a while. A girl normally doesn't just turn cold and leave for no reason. My bet is that every fight caused her to feel a little more lonely and a little less happy and that something happened between you right before she went cold and she realized she couldn't stand not being happy. If she slowly fell out of love and if she felt lonely in the relationship then it wouldn't surprise me if she is trying to find love with someone else.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Hi I'm the original poster, I'm actually a guy must have put it in wrong, sorry
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Hi hun
I am a little confused as you are posted as a female poster but mention the loss of your girlfriend to a guy. No problems...just wondering.
A breakup can be traumatic and it can seem unreal when something that seems to established ends. Many people, in their quest to understand and get closure, analyze and question what went wrong. It is doubly painful when your partner moves on quickly. It is bruising to your self esteem and you wonder if they ever cared at all. This, from your post is where you seem to be at. She hurt you and you are blindsided at how fast she has moved on.
You need to give yourself a break here. All this analyzing is a way of beating yourself up and you NEED to move in the other direction of slowly cutting the cord on this relationship and looking to what is still to come. You could ask her but I think that would dredge up more pain.
Do not isolate yourself so you have more time to worry and obsess. Get out there with your friends and family. You will heal from this...it is natures way and toughen and grow as well.
Good luck hun
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