A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I just turned 20, last week. Just call me Victor. I have to say, however, there's this very friendly female friend of mine. However, she is a little too friendly. Just call her Candace. I think she may be around in her early 50's. Ahem.Anyways, uh, she grabs my arm (The area of the arm: the upper arm, just around where it bends.), as I was passing by her, at the cafeteria at the college I attend. She put her fingers fully around the arm. I didn't resist, as I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I waited for her to let go. She did. But, very gently. She even smiled at me, during the act. Was it flirting? Or, was she just in the mood to feel my muscles?In advance, I appreciate your time.- Victor.
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flirt, in the mood, muscle Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): I was just adding relevant evidence.
I don't have many friends who touch me. That is why I asked about the arm grabbing.
Plus, she does it on occasion. For example, if I'm around for long enough, and close enough, she'll grab. For at least 5 seconds. She then lets go. It wasn't just a one time assumption.
-Victor.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Sounds to me like
a. YOU WANT her to WANT you.
b. You know each other more now that you are single (how long has it been) and it’s just a comfort thing.
Personally if you are interested you need to approach her but it may be that you are reading into things and seeing things that aren’t there.
IF you tell me you aren’t interested in her that way, then you should ask her to NOT touch you as it upsets your boundaries.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Just to add, when I was taken, she didn't touch me at all.
However, ever since I'm single, she occasionally touches me.
-Victor.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): She only mentionned her husband and kids once.
And, that was before she did any touching.
-Victor.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 March 2012):
She may be flirting and it' may like my flirting mean NOTHING...
I'm ahem in my early 50s (with a 38 yr old fiance so I get the whole ugly "cougar" thing... yuck... and there are some lovely young men I work with (late 20s early 30s) who I flirt with outrageously... (and yes my fiance knows i flirt... it's like breathing for me)....
If she is mentioning hubby and kids (although my kids are older than you so it's not like her kids are young I'm sure) then she's setting boundaries....
she may just be a flirt.... it's probably harmless.
if she makes you uncomfortable doing it you need to tell her however.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Interesting replies, so far! I wonder why she'd flirt, with me, though? Last I heard, she said something about being married, and with children. Heh.
-Victor.
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A
female
reader, peacelovecandy +, writes (28 March 2012):
 I think she was trying to get it in with a hotter and younger guy. If it were me, I'd be a little creeped out if some older woman at my university's cafeteria decided to randomly grab my arm and smile at me. Sounds like she was flirting, though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): She's definitely flirting.
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