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Was my husband being inconsiderate?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have an question. I want to know if my husband was being inconsiderate or am i just tripping. Since yesterday i have been battling a major toothache where as my jaw is swollen and half my tooth is gone. All day yesterday i stayed in bed due to the pain. Now my husband has never had a toothache so he doesn't understand the pain of it. Now the problem is he came in from work this morning after working a 16hr shift. He came in and started up for sex. He was aggravated because i was showing no emotion so we ended up stopping and he went to sleep on couch. But how can i show emotion when i have a killer toothache.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (13 February 2015):

YouWish agony auntI don't think he was being inconsiderate. I think he was being horny. You should have told him that you have a massive toothache instead of just letting him climb on. He threw a bit of a snit when he realized you weren't immediately into it (sorry buddy...we're not microwaves!)

You need to go to the dentist immediately. Toothaches are awful! I have never had a bad one (I've never had any cavities...my mom was a germaphobe, so I grew up not being allowed to drink stuff with sugar in it or chewing sugar gum), but my husband has on more than one occasion, and seeing him in pain like that breaks my heart.

If it's money you're worried about and you're not insured, many university dental programs offer either free or REALLY cheap dental care. My husband had his first root canal before we married and he was a starving college student, and it cost him like $20 plus $20 more for the nitrous oxide.

PS...CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So great to see you!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (13 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWelcome back Cindy!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 February 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt Honeypie is right ( hi Honeypie, I am back ) go to see a dentist , don't just lie there being miserable ! You say your jaw is swollen , and the tooth is half gone- who knows, you could have an abscess.Don't wait.

I think too that yes, your husband was very inconsiderate. Of course we can make all the allowances you want for him and all the lucky people like him, who, never having had dental problems, cannot quite get how BAD and painful is a major toothache- they have no idea that it can be serious pain, not just discomfort. But, I think that he should have TRUSTED you anyway- i.e. assumed that if you say you are suffering and in real pain, ( ergo, not in the best mood for sex !)you are telling exactly the truth, not exaggerating or being dramatic.

But, first things first . Have your tooth seen now, and when you'll feel better... then you'll have time to read your husband the riot act :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2015):

Yes his behavior was inconsiderate. This type of behavior is called caveman attitude or animalistic behavior where the male has no consideration to the condition of the female to mate.Is he inconsiderate in other ways too or was this a one off case?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (12 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWow, yes he was MAJORLY inconsiderate.

Have you been to see a dentist?

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (12 February 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Both of you are wrong!

Yes...his response to your actions are wrong. He should have talked to you instead of acting like child that had a favourite toy taken away from him.

You should have told him the minute he started looking for sex how you felt. Instead you let him get going only to have the mood crushed because you are in pain.

If you are ever in too much pain or not in the mood...say so. He is not going to die from a lack of sex.

You both need to apologise to each other.

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