A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Was my ex boyfriend trying to rub this in, and make me jealous with this comment?. I went on a website today, which is where you can discuss films and actors. My ex and I have been going on that website for years. I recently left a message on a thread that was discussing an actor who is much older than I am. The person who started the thread said that there must be hotter older men in the country that we are from, as this actor is also from here. On my message, I put that I was currently dating an older man myself, and I put a wink sign at the end. My ex replied under my comment by saying "I must be one of those then too considering my fiancée and I have an 8 year age gap and the fact that she's bisexual with a greater attraction to girls than guys, yet somehow she's mine ". Do you think he posted that because he knew I would see it?. I thought it was cruel, to be honest, and immature.We have been broken up for two years now. I think he has been with her for 6 months. Should I respond at all?.
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immature, jealous, my ex, older man, older men Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 Why does it matter 2 years later who he is dating? Why should that "hurt" you? Is he not allowed to move on? Is he not allowed to be "proud" of his new GF?
I mean it's a PUBLIC forum you both have posted on in the past and still do.
I still don't see the big deal and I don't see why he would play petty games like that. Don't you think he is over you?
Maybe he did write the post to "rub it in" and guess what? IT WORKED.. didn't it? So if you RISE to his bait (assuming he did it out of spite) you PLAY right into his game.
So ignore ignore ignore. Unless... you want drama in your life.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 I still think that probably you are overthinking this.
The thread was about " hot older men from your country ".
One of the poster said " There must be other hot older men... "
And you say " Yes, and I am dating one ! "
And your bf comments ,more or less " Yes, and I AM one !" ( since gf is younger and bi , blah blah ).
It sounds like you ALL were joking around.
But , let me be nosy and ask :
suppose I am wrong. Suppose he wanted to rub it in, to show off :
1 ) how would he know that, after two years, such showing off can still bother you ?..
2 ) why would it actually bother you, to the point of calling it cruel ? Aren't you dating your older man ?...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): Hi honeypie. I didn't post it to be cruel towards him. I didn't even know that he would see it. I just think that he didn't need to write anything there at all. If I hadn't posted there, would he still have written that?. I think it's cruel if he was trying to rub it in. When I posted it, I was just having a joke with the people that posted before me.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2014):
Yea, don't respond to it.
You posted about YOUR hot man, he posted about his HOT GF.. So what?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): The thing is, i only wrote a short comment, and it was related to the subject of the thread. But he went into a lot of detail.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 August 2014):
Were you tryng to rub it in and make HIM jealous with your comment about the hot older man you are dating, wink wink ? ( which sounds a rather peculiar comment in a movie buff forum, what your personal love life has got to do with the forum theme ? ).
No, it did not even cross your mind ?.. Ok, then you can give him the benefit of doubt and assume that he is not much different from you, and that in two years he's got all the time he needed to move on and now does not even care about making you jealous.
Yes, you wanted him to know that you are not sitting at home brooding over the past ? Fine, you are even, he did the same, - and you started first :)
A little bit of both, i.e. you did not write your comment on purpose to get a reaction out of him, yet also you do not mind him reading and knowing that you are doing fine ? You are even again, most probably it was just the same for him.
Conclusion : no, do not respond, first, there's nothing to respond , and second, you would make utterly ridicolous. He could very logically answer you : look, it's TWO YEARS ! we are broken up, and you say you are dating a hot older man,.... why do you even care, why do you even notice what I do or what I write or comment where ?? How could it bother you if supposedly you have moved on ?... ( and he would have a point ).
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