A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a strange question that i know can not be answered easily and i know it's long, but my friend keeps telling me it and I really need to know if she's right, because a part of me is starting to realise it may just be that!Over 3 ago months my boyfriend of 2 months ended it with me, in one of the most horrible and selfish ways you could. I liked him so much!! I remember the day it happened I felt this sharp pain inside me and this aching feeling, I couldn't stop crying, it was the worst feeling I'd experience and a type of sadness I hadn't felt before. For the first month and a half that was the main feeling I felt and it was awful that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of it. But whenever I spoke about what happened, or talked about him I'd tear up as if I was on the verge of crying, it just made me emotional even being reminded of it, I didn't like hearing his name, looking at his photos made me cry and every night I'd lie in bed and play it over in my head again and again and think of all our memories and it'd get upset, it was torturing myself. I also found myself listening to endless sad songs, which is not like me at all! It was the worst emotional roller coaster i've been on and I don't think i've ever cried so much in 2 months!!Well, it's been just over 3 months and there isn't a day that goes past when I don't think about him, but at least now I can without crying. I'm still sad, but it's better now because i've accepted it and realised how nasty what he did was that I'm happier now. I still find when I listen to sad songs it does make me tear up a bit still and i'll admit I don't think i'll ever lose my feelings for him completely, something about him had a big impact on me.Point of this is, my friend tells me that from the sound of it all that I must have been in love with him and that he broke my heart. Which is why it affected me so much and that's apparently why I was feeling like that for so long and why I still sort of do. But I told her I would have known i was in love with him, but she said that my reaction and feelings from it ending showed how I really felt and that if I wasn't in love with him I wouldn't have felt that sad after and missed him that much... So what i'm asking is do you think this is true that I was in love with him and didn't realise it till after? Or do you think it sounds like I just liked him a lot and because of the way he ended it is why I was sad? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2013): Hi, I do know how you feel, I am going through it my self right now, hey you can be IN love ,in two months, you keep talking to them in your head, an you think how they would talk back to you, hey it hurts, you only know the feelings if you are going through, the pain your self now. People have gone through it before, but if they are not hurting its easy to say get over it. YOU know we wonder how they cant be hurting, but they are not, you give it your all, heart, but they don't, my self am one of those good guys, I hope soon you wake up an the pain will be gone, you will smile again with your heart, bye now
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 April 2013):
 You've been broken up longer than you were together. You only dated him for two months so luckily you didn't waste too much precious time on him. So don't waste any more dwelling on it. It doesn't matter whether you loved him or not, it's a closed chapter, and a brief one as well. Now you need to get busy writing the next chapter.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (20 April 2013):
 I disagree with your friend. I believe you would not have been in love after only two months, not real love.
If you had been together longer, the feeling might be loneliness. When you are together and that person is your everything and suddenly they are gone, you naturally miss them and feel a big emptiness.
However, in this case, you mentioned he ended things in the most cruel way. I think you are very hurt, and the traumatic way he ended things had a overwhelming affect on you. It is hard when people end things and there is not closure too. Did you have closure? Really understand why he left?
Anyway, it doesn't matter. Don't dwell on it as much as you can help yourself. You can't be in love with someone who doesn't love you, not true love anyway, and not in two months.
Move on. Save true love for someone more deserving.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): I am deeply to read your sad story. Yes you could of been in love and probably were. But you have to stop beating yourself up over the past. Yes love hurts but it doesn't have to be that way now. Take corrective and proactive steps and straighten yourself out. I believe from listening to you that you are a caring and loving women. You deserve love and happiness in your future. If you cant work this out there are free help lines in most communities that have professional counsellors on hand to help you out with no cost. Stop what your doing right now and go have a spa day or make over day and reinvent yourself if you want to call it that. Then go out in the world with a fresh prospective on yourself and life. I know you will meet your man in shining armour. And last but not least surround yourself with people that truly are your friends and enjoy life. Move forward and hold your head high. Good-luck...
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