A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Recently my boyfriend (who makes an excellent living) brought me a bouquet of flowers. They were the grocery store variety and the price tag that he left on the cellophane said $7. He came to my front door with said flowers still in the plastic bag from the grocery, handed them to me as he was stepping in and said, "Here. Enjoy them. They're almost a dollar a piece now". I hesitated for a second and then said "Oh, how sweet. Thank you so much." I gave him a kiss and arranged the flowers in a vase. I haven't said anything to him because I feel he gave me a gift, it was a surprise, and it would be rude, etc. etc. However, his comment and the way he just kind of shoved them at me is bothering me.What you you think of this? Am I being ridiculous to even give this event any thought? And also, should I say anything?
View related questions:
flowers Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 January 2013):
 I agree with Honeypie... where they came from does not matter... WHAT he said was what ruined it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 January 2013):
 It would have been a nice gesture if he hadn't HAD to put in the snide remark about their price.
I have never thought flowers from a grocery store is bad. Flowers are flowers. Now if this was your 10th anniversary or something I can see he "ought" to be a little less cheap with the flowers. But if he picked them up on a "lark" to make you smile I think THAT is what counts.
However, he totally ruined it with his comment.
But what are you most upset with? His comment or the "cheap" flowers?
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (27 January 2013):
 sounds to me like this guy wanted to do something sweet for you, but gets awkward about doing romantic things like that, so he took the edge off by making what he perceived as a humorous comment to lighten the mood. coming from someone who is very awkward emotionally (or at least expressing it in that way), i can understand where this guy is coming from. he probably meant well, it just came off poorly and differently than how he intended. cut him some slack. i feel kinda bad for him. i think he's trying.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Hi
I reckon he isn't used to being romantic, so he covered his embarassment by being flippant.
Its lovely he bought them and thought of you so don't bring the topic up,just see it as it is,he bought you flowers.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): No, it's just bad manners. You can later hint on this, saying it as a joke, that when people give gifts they ussualy don't disclose a price
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (26 January 2013):
 It's the thought that counts not the price of the gift. He's probably just like the rest of us male dumbos that screw things up by making an error. Don't let him think that you expect high priced gifts just because he can afford them or you'll end up getting nothing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (26 January 2013):
 I can't say if you're being ridiculous or not because it depends on the context of the relationship, how long you've known him, whether he's generally a bit clueless etc, or you feel that he's down right rude in general.
If you think he's clueless, can you tolerate that? Same applies to if you think he was being intentionally rude.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (26 January 2013):
 HI
I'm not surprised you feel the way you do, he sounds very detached. Yes he brought you flowers BUT if his going to be rude about it why bother. I would say to him how you feel, and that if he can't buy you flowers and mean the gesture behind it then not to bother in the future. I would also be inclined to look for someone who actually cares about me . he sounds arrogant and stuck up. sorry but I have seen this type of man and trust me when I say it rarely works out.
Mandy x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013): Oh what a romantic old devil! If I were you I'd rather he hadn't bothered with an attitude like that. The price wouldn't bother me at all, but the begrudging manner in which he gave me the flowers definitely would. He is coming across as bitter about buying them, which makes me think he got you the flowers because it's 'what boyfriends do' and not because he wanted to in any way. If I were you I'd do the exact same thing to him and if he calls you on it, say you totally agree that while a gesture can be nice, the manner in which it is done can take the shine off of it somewhat. Hopefully he will get the hint!
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 January 2013):
 Safeway has good flowers. I always get them.
It sounds like he bought the flowers just because this is what women like. His gesture was insincere. He is giving it to you at the same time letting you know he doesn't really want to do it.
Would you rather him not buy it at all with that attitude? Do you like the flowers one way or the other?
On the other hand, he is spending effort to make you happy. He shoved it to you because he has rough manly hands.
You know him better. Only you can judge this. Supposing that you don't have other issues in the relationship and he was not buying flowers to amend a fight, then I would like to believe that he is doing something to make you happy, even if it's something he is not natural at.
You should encourage him every time, until he gets better at it and less awkward. Buying flowers should be a continued tradition even if it is cheesy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013): No your not you obviously feel like this for a reason and the fact that they were so cheap when he has alot of money to spend might mean that he's trying to say something. Dont just leave it because it obviously means something so you need to talk to him about it.Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, AProblemShared +, writes (26 January 2013):
 He could have splashed out on something a bit grander, but I wouldn't read too much into it. It's a lovely gesture, I've certainly never been bought flowers, cheap or otherwise. Maybe he's had a bad day at work, or the traffic was bad, or any other small little thing. Hope this helps and I wish you well.
...............................
|
