A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been with my bf for 5 years now. I’m 22 and he’s 25. We live in the city in sort of a sketchy area, so sometimes I have to park my car down this creepy alleyway because our complex doesn’t have assigned parking. Annoying, I know. So last night, I got upset with my boyfriend over something silly and we were leaving to go to a friend’s house and I told him that I wanted to go for a drive by myself. He was insisting I don’t do that because I’m upset. So we get outside and I start walking to my car and he starts pulling me when I’m walking down this alleyway and there were these 2 guys standing on the corner. I tried not to react to it and pretty much said “omg I’m over it let’s just get my car and go.” My boyfriend claims he didn’t hear me say that so he thought I was just walking away from him. So I turned around, thinking he’s still behind me and he wasn’t. It was one of the guys. And they were yelling things at me and following me and I just said “I’m just trying to get to my car.” I was terrified. I’ve never been in such a situation before and i was furious with my boyfriend for leaving me like that. So I called him and he came back and the guys started harassing him because he intervened. Won’t go into details, no one got hurt but it became intense. I feel like it’s my fault. We got into a screaming argument. I didn’t mean to “make a scene.” I don’t like to talk about things like that when I’m walking outside of our apartment so I thought that we would just talk in my car. I know my actions prior were immature and I regret that. But I didn’t mean to walk away from my boyfriend. I never once said “get away from me.” I didn’t think he’d leave me. Was I in the wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2020): YOU placed BOTH of you in danger! You describe your neighborhood as sketchy, but decided you want to go for a drive by yourself?
Well, you'd have to walk alone down the same creepy alley to get back to your apartment when you returned! If you were both still beefing and pissed-off when you got back!
"So last night, I got upset with my boyfriend over something silly and we were leaving to go to a friend’s house and I told him that I wanted to go for a drive by myself."
You didn't ask him to leave you alone, but you did say you wanted to go to your friend's house alone. That's his cue to leave you alone. He should have known better!
Both of you behaved badly, and let anger and immaturity get the better of you!
Yes in-deedy, you made the whole mess possible; because you were too busy drama-queening to consider your own safety! He left you alone in a dark and scary alley, just because he was pissed-off.
Well, you both got a dose of karma at the same-time!
The only way to make this un-stupid, is not to ever do it again!!!
Never leave the house alone in the dark, or drive when you're angry! You could have also caused an accident, and lost your life; or carelessly taken the life of an innocent person in a collision.
Now, shake it off! You two behave yourselves like two sensible-adults!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2020): Let me make it completely clear that I made NO scene outside of our apartment building. All I did was walk to my car, which was originally what we were going to do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2020):
 I don't think YOU need to assign blame here.
It was a bad situation that NEITHER of you set up or created. EVEN with the personal drama you two had (aka the fight).
You "thought" you would talk about it in the car. He didn't. Hence why it ended up in a fight. YOU PRESUMED he would KNOW that you would RATHER discus this with some kind of privacy... He just wanted to fix whatever it was.
NEITHER of you were "wrong". But he REALLY can't read your mind.
The ones who behaved badly were to two guys who harassed you AND your BF. End of story.
TALK to your BF, tell him what you wrote in here and I'll bet he didn't know what you were thinking.
When someone says: "I want to go for a drive by myself" - IT usually means that they WANT to be alone, not discus or argue in a car. OK? YOUR BF thought you meant what you said and said what you meant. Which is logical.
He followed you to make sure he FELT you could go for a drive and that you weren't too upset. Why he ended up stopping was perhaps that he misheard something you said. But either way, it doesn't matter. He didn't do it with ILL intent.
TALK. And if you are upset it's OK to take a "time out" but perhaps not go driving while upset. Take a few then you can talk TO each other.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (30 January 2020):
 Someone could have gotten seriously hurt. Regardless of how you felt in the moment, never let your emotional state put you in harm's way. Not only that, you endangered someone else in the process. That isn't smart, or fair. I'd suggest to let logic overrule your emotions next time so as to not put yourself (or anyone else that you really care about) in harm's way. God forbid if something actually happened and someone got seriously hurt or killed; how much worse would you have felt… it isn't worth it OP. Thank goodness that you guys are okay. I just hope that now the two of you realise what a silly argument can actually lead to if you aren't in the right frame of mind when leaving the house. Please be careful next time.
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