A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I'm 16 years old and about three months ago i think i could have been date raped.I was on holiday with my friend and her parents in Spain for a week, and we had been getting very drunk every night. On the Thursday night we began to walk back to the appartment when a car drove past and offered us a lift. There were five men in the car, aged between 22 and 24. There wasn't enough room in the car so we sat on their laps. Instead of going straight home we ended up going back to their apartment. My friend went in their pool with four of them whereas i sat on the side with one guy with a spanish name something like Harry. We smoked some weed and i kissed him. Then me and my friend left. Although we were very drunk i have a good memory of that night.The next night was our last night. Me and my friend went to a nearby club where we drank alot of alcohol, but i wouldn't say it was much more than we'd had every other night that week. After some dancing I went up to the bar, where I saw the men we'd met the night before. They bought me a couple drinks and i drank them. I remember dancing for a little bit and then i felt very hot. Harry took me outside so i could get some fresh air. He lead me down to a nearby pool where we began kissing on a sunbed. After that i only remember a rough outline of what happened. I remember him being ontop of me, taking my clothes off and having sex with me. I didnt want this to be happening but i couldn't do anything about it, i couldnt even move. Next i remember he'd taken me into the pool. I remember his face close to mine, and how he was pushing my back against the side because i kept slipping down under the water. After that all i remember is meeting back up with my friend. I knew what had happened and was in hysterical tears about what i'd done. I blamed myself and it wasnt until a few days after when i thought i might have been date raped. My friend keeps telling me it was because i was very drunk and everyone makes mistakes and i should forget about it, does it sound like date rape or just alcohol?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 September 2009):
It does sound like you were raped. Get yourself checked for STI's and make sure you get counselling or you speak to a rape crisis hotline. This wasn't you fault, so dont' blame yourself, and though this is easy to say, please don't think all guys are like that and don't think that this will ruin your life or anything like that. In the future, be safe and make sure you're always with some friends when you're out if possible. You're less of a target this way. Lots of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): It may have been rape, it does sound like you were drugged and you should report it if possible, even though I know it's not easy.
However, it was also incredibly stupid. I mean, what did you think would happen when you go home with ADULT men and then keep hanging out with them. Not only that, being so drunk with them when I'm certain you know what happens when people get drunk. It lowers reasoning and inhibitions. And getting high too? I think you need to consider your lifestyle choices and who you do them with, you're still young and although you may not see it now, or feel like it, guys who are older are not necessarily good for you.
YOU are the one who's getting yourself into these situations. Intentionally putting yourself in them, actually. I'm not excusing what he did, it's still horrible. But no one else seems to be commenting and telling you what you need to hear about preventing this. Wise up, grow up, and listen up. Things need to change, so PLEASE be careful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): This sounds very much like you were drugged and that is a despicable crime! I am so sorry this happened to you, all I can offer is that you call a rape crisis hot-line, they are experienced with these things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): You didnt tell him it was okay for him to have sex with you. So it was rape. Sadly these things happen a lot, and many men are stupid enough to think that as long as the woman doesnt scream "no!", she's agreeing. Which is not true. All I can tell you now is that you need to take a pregnancy test and if it's not too late, take the morning-after pill so you wont get pregnant. And in the future, dont drink so much and dont go alone with men when you're not able to understand what is happening. Its sad that, but women have to be careful and protect themselves.
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