A
male
age
30-35,
*h oh
writes:I used to love this girl. It went on for about 2 and a half years. At the time I was blind, and really thought things could work out.I screwed up several times. She was never interested. Her attitude towards me went from trusting to cold hearted- to say the least- she fluctuated.when i found out she had a boyfriend earlier this year, i felt betrayed, but at the same time thought it was my fault. She told me - she doesnt want to get into a relationship because she loved her education too muc. so i respected that and just continued to develop a friendship. My first question is - Was it a lie all along?I thought it was my fault for no being more open with her about my feelings. i tried several times to improve our friendship, tried swapping phone numbers, telling her how i felt, telling her sister that i would try and surprise her on valentines day. But nothing went my way. So i started cutting myself. I made a total of 22 gashes on my left arm before i stopped so my friends wouldnt get anymore worried. But if it wasnt for them, i probably would still be doing it. I deleted her from facebook, and sevred all contact with her (which was mainly facebook and msn) and i havent spoken to her since january. My second question is - should i really give up so soon. Although 2 years is a long time for me, it felt like our relationship had progressed so minimally that i had just fallen at the first hurdle. My best friend said it was best i leave it all behind, cut off any ties with her to prevent this from ever happening again. But after almost 6 months im having second thoughts. Could I be ignoring any form of relationship updates from her like her breaking up with her boyfriend? Everything so far with her has been going wrong, is there any point in me going back and persuing it in the hope that just once something will go right?It seemed like the moment I got some confidence enough to make my first move, the worst thing possible could happen. Her sister knows that i like her,and she's 27. She is now my only form of contact between me and her although, we barely ever see each other and i have never talked about my situation with her, until i asked her where i could send a concert ticket to so that this girl would go with me. Should i consider talking to her sister about my situation? I have her on facebook so i could talk about it. But is there any point? I've never felt so much affection for a girl in my life. But at the same time, if i get hurt again i could end up physically hurting myself. What do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pinkbump +, writes (18 June 2009):
If the girl wanted to be with you she would try and contact you! but in my opinion I think lifes too short to be waiting about on someone. just try and relax and have fun ! I bet theres plenty of girls out there who want to be your girlfriend. what evers meant to be wont pass by ;). and remember dont let another person bring you down, your better than that!
hope this helps
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