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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and I broke up about a year ago and I contacted him in September and he called me back a few minutes later and I explained my regrets and how I know what went wrong etc etc Basically he wasn't looking to jump back in with both feet like we were in a relationship again which is understandableWe have been talking for a few months getting comfortable and recently I felt like the calls were becoming a little less..we would take turns calling but it seemed like it was taking him longer to call. I called him mid december and this was my 2nd time or so initiating contact and I tried to see if he had anything negative to tell me. And I did tell him the next day that I was sorry for last night if I sounded a little sad and basically let him know i guess this sort of easy for you but confusing for me at times..just a little hard thats all. With a few texts back and forth I figured it was the end of the convo and my friend said let him contact you next... 2 and half weeks pass and it was almost NYE. I decided to text him 1 day prior(I was not expecting to be with him that night and even told him that awhile ago)..i basically just said is everything ok? No response and I saw the text was delivered to his phone..I call the next morning on NYE to just say hoping everything is ok with you and wishing you and your family a happy new year etc. He never got back to me or anythingI got very upset wondering what's going and it basically sounds like he is blowing me off but for myself I just would like to talk and see what's going on and if something happened or can we work it out etc. I let New Years Day pass and I call today and no answer and i decided to leave a v-mail basically saying everything in case I didn't hear from him EVER againI said I don't know what you are thinking or why I haven't heard from you or if something was taken the wrong way in the last convo. And I said I meant it when i said things weould be different otherwise I wouldnt have called you and i understand you wanna take things slow. I mentioned how we have known each other a long time and thats why it hurts not knowing anything and could he please just call me back and let me know whats going on because i dont know what to make out of it.Was that completely out of line and sounding crazy? We were talking every few days and then a couple of weeks go by without contact and then when I do it seems like I am being ignored and I was just looking for answers I guess for myself and for closure if that was it. Was that a bad move? I guess i felt blown off because there was no happy new year or anything. Was it a mistake to leave that v-mail explaining everything in case he didn't call back? Everyone agreed I had a right to know something about what was going on with him and why he disappeared for a few weeks.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 January 2010):
You've had your say now so just leave it at that and move on.
Calling him and apologising once every couple of months and checking if he's angry with you won't make him want you back.
He can tell you are obviously still very very sensitive about the whole thing so you can see why he's just ignoring the whole issue and hoping you'll get the message, rather than ringing you up and telling you to leave him alone.
If he cared, he would have got back to you.
You don't always get closure on these things so you can either:
a) keep ringing him in tears wanting to know what you did wrong to make him hate you (not text you) and checking he's ok and generally getting a bit stalkerish.
or
b) move on. Put it down as his loss and stop chasing a guy who obviously isn't going to be worth the effort.
You are better than this so delete his number and go out and have some fun in your life rather than wasting your youth thinking about the past.
It's a new year so wipe the slate clean and meet some new people.
Good Luck!! xx
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