A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would you quit talking to your friend? This girl and I like to joke around. I like to tease her for fun and enjoy her company. I like her as a friend but several reasons she's not the right person for me to date. She has a boyfriend so I respect their relationship and still try to have fun with her while making sure I don't cross boundaries etc. I've noticed she also acts different around me while before she was flirtyHowever, someone started a rumor saying to some ppl that we like each other. I think some ppl are bored or it's speculation and since her and this guy haven't been together long not everyone knows they are dating. So today I send her a message saying oh have you heard the rumor? She writes back and then I debate on whether I should tell her or not. I joke and say it's nothing but she asks and says well why bother sending me a message if you're going to ignore my question so I tell her. I also tell her not to worry or get upset about it because that's how some ppl are because they like to gossip and spread rumors etc and that the whole ordeal is ridiculous.She is on but doesn't respond. I go to send her a message and within about 15 mins it says she is no longer taking messages. It could be a coincidence but I'm really confused. Is she mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Was I wrong to ask her about the rumor?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (6 February 2012):
 If it is just a rumour,you need not be bothered,you have got nothing to do with it,it will run its course and die out.As for informing her,your were not wrong but you must be sensitive to her needs too,it must her hurt her.Give her some time and be your natural self..all the best
A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly +, writes (6 February 2012):
if it really is a rumour,it will run its course and die out,ignore it at best.Be your the normal self that you are and do not let it affect you...with due course of time she would also be able to understand that you were just a good friend and that you respected her...give her some time to cope up..all the best
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 February 2012):
 You weren't wrong to inform her though I don't know that it was really necessary at that point. You could have made less of a production out of it.
She may be distant with you because she now suspects that you fancy her and either made up a story about there being a rumour or even started the rumour yourself to try and inch her away from her boyfriend.
Leave it alone and say nothing further. Be casual and relaxed. Respect her space. If she sees you acting normal and that there isn't a rumour (or much of one) she may come around again.
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