A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK, I've been dating a guy since January. All we do is have sex. We've been out just a couple of times in 3 months. At first, he was head over heels for me. Anything I wanted, he was there. Now, all he wants to do is come over, have sex, sleep, then leave. Why did things change? Is it that I was too accommodating to his needs? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Hi,
I think the advice about playing hard to get is ridiculous. It is immature teenage behaviour at best, where on earth do people get these ideas? Falling in love is not a game, to treat it as such demonstrates an underdeveloped intelligence.
But he is using you, the best thing I advise is the next time he comes over, tell him you can't have sex. If he stays and you have a good night, chat etc then you have something still there. If he goes away in a huff , you know exactly what he wants you for.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Do you have any unfulfilled needs?
You need to communicate to him because his needs are met .
He cannot read your mind.
You need to be in the drivers seat.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): I agree with DoubleM.
To go deeper, I would suggest that maybe he was just out of a relationship before he met you, it may not of gone well for him. This with you may be a rebound, and the sex is providing the intimacy he needs. Is he emotionaly healthy, head screwed on right? If a guy doesn't have a good intimate relationship, he will settle for the physical part to get him through, He needs the closeness, and sex is a quick fix, though it isn't complete, he needs what he may not bea ble to nurture.
You need to talk to him to your satisfaction, if not, then you may need to dump him.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (7 April 2008):
 If the situation has become just sexual in nature rather than also including dinners, picnics, movies, concerts, visiting museums and other ways of spending quality time together, then you have possibly just become his sex object. A good relationship should include much more than just sex. Yes, it sounds like you have been a bit too accommodating to his sexual desires without expecting or demanding more in the relationship. Perhaps for him, it just beats masturbation and requires little more investment.
...............................
|
