A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend had been drinking excessively and always got violent with me. He's pushed me, slapped me and last time after getting in a fight in a bar came home at three in the morning blaming me for that and kept telling me he would kill me. He promised he would stop drinking, but whenever his friends called he would leave and drink again. Two weeks ago I gave him an ultimatum... drink and friends or me. I only did so because I was afraid he would not be able to control his alcohol and really kill me. He left anyway. He has not picked up his personal things and I don't know what to do. I miss him, but I don't know if I was wrong for telling him that night he left not to come back again. I really miss him. Was I wrong? Any suggestions about what I can do to make things better?
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 You were not wrong but I think you should walk away from him. Once you take back a guy who has been violent to you he knows he can get away with it and will do it again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): The only thing that would make things better is if you boxed up his belongings had someone deliver them to his house and changed the locks and called the police if he won't leave.
He is a drunk, an addict and he is an abuser. He hit you!
Unless you enjoy abuse and being hit and don't mind the next time he does this to you, he may either kill you or put you in the hospital, then keep wondering whether or not you did the wrong thing giving him an ultimatum.
You did not do the right thing, ultimatums never work! He isn't going to change not for you not for anyone....this is an absolute deal breaker.....do not let this man set foot in your house, you are in danger, how hard does he have to hit you to knock that sense into your head?
Seriously, call the police.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): If a guy cant stop this serious problem he obviously has for you then you do not desever him at all. yeah it may be hard at first but trust me. its better in the long run.
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