A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my ex and I were together for almost 2 years. We had our ups and downs but I can truly say he was my first love. Being my first what I considered "real" relationship, the first year I think my expectations were high and when we had the smallest problem arise i started to have doubts. I ended up breaking up with him but he stuck around for a year and we still acted like we were together. We still had fun and loved being around each other. I guess I was kinda just waiting to see if he would really show me he was serious. Just ONE gesture to show me... Obviously if I was really over him I wouldn't let him stick around at all. Everything was all good until he got his ex hired at the hospital that we both work at without letting me know. This hurt me Soooo much! I was already insecure about this girl because she was his ex before me. I cried I yelled I said things to him to try to hurt him because I wanted him to feel what I felt. His apologies never felt genuine. He came over one night crying and apologizing and I forgave him. I told him that all I really wanted was for him to try and reassure me that he had no feelings for her anymore and that I have nothing to worry about... He understood and reassured me. I told him I needed time to think because I seriously felt like he stabbed me in the back after this incident. After a week, our relationship started to go downhill. We didn't contact each other as much. Then, I come to find out that he started dating his Ex and now they are back together :( He said she asked him out. I just felt like it was one stab after another within only a few weeks time. He told me that he still loves me and still has hope for us but he wanted to see where this new relationship goes. I know i'm an idiot for still wanting to be with him. I have not and will not interfere with his new relationship but it just really hurts still. To top it off.. we have mutual friends/ coworkers so I always hear about stuff. It's really hard to see the person you love with someone else. Everything that he did wrong with me, he's doing right with her. :( He even introduced her to his mom.I don't understand... Was I just a rebound?? Did he really love me?? My heart still hurts soo much. He is a really good guy and i know his heart is genuine so he wasn't just playing me right? I'm just so lost. He was my best friend and he said he always will be there for me and love me but I don't understand how he could get back with her. And so quickly after we ended it... I can't help but feel like he never lost feelings for his ex even when he was in love with me even though he denies it. Help please :( I need some enlightenment.
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female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (31 January 2010):
hi it must be extremly hard for you to see them together i dont think he could love you very much if he went back to her so soon after you split up if he loved you he would have been trying too get you back, it sounds like you had a problem with trusting him though as you wanted to know if he still had feelings for her i dont think he does now but still fancies her i dont think he would have been with you if he still had feelings for her . i think he did like you but not love you . forget him and find a good man who loves you but trust the next man because if you ask enough they will go elsewhere as you dont trust them and they get accused anyway
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