A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Brief history: My boyfriend admitted to cheating on me with this girl. Her and I got into many verbal confrontations over the telephone and she and he both caused our relationship a lot of grief. He most likely had been cheating on me for a while, but finally decided to change his ways, so he says. He changed his phone number and told me that it was a fresh start to minimize the drama. The problem: He was staying at her cousin's house,while she was there. He ended up getting robbed, while he was sleeping (someone took his money from his wallet, over 700.00, he just cashed his paycheck). Turns out, the girl he cheated on me with was there and when he told me that she was among one of the people at the house, I got upset. I called her outside and started calling her out of her name. I suspected that they had sex or something or he was cheated on me again with her. Up until that night, I did not even know they still talked. He said they were friends, he did not touch her, and he said he was being faithful. He said she was not worried about him or me. She came out of the house, ready to fight. We were going back and forth with words. He said I caused a scene and had no reason to be upset.I told him that any girl would've been upset if they found out that their boyfriend was in the same house with the girl he cheated on her with a couple months ago. He said I was selfish because he was just robbed and the only thing I could think about was the other girl and the "past". Grannit, they may not have been messing around BUT did I have a right to be upset? Could I have handled the situation differently?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right...thank you for your input. I really really appreicate it. He just doesn't understand why I'm bothered by all of this....he just doesn't get it :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): you had EVERY right to be angry and i really mean that! once he crossed the boundries with that girl and cheated with her, he lost every right he had to meet up with her as a "friend."
i had a similar experience as my boyfriend cheated with some one in his friendship group, some may say this is harsh but i told him if im going to be big enogh and strong enough to forgive him, he is going to have to be mature enough to understand how hurt i am and remove him self from situations where the girl is going to be.
his money getting stolen could of been his karma, if he didnt meet the girl he cheated with behind your back, he would still have his money. karma is a bitch and dont u let him forget that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): of course there were other ways to handle that. but to react anyway that u havent would be unnatural. just remind him, u cheated on me, not the other way around. u have every right to mad, if not moreso.dont beat urself up about ur reaction. i can tell u to be a tad bit more sympathetic for his loss. $700 isnt exactly chump change. but in order for u to be sympathetic for his loss, he has to be smpathetic to ur feelings. communicate this o him nd im sure everything will be fine. hope this works =) --joerns
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