Was I in denial about my true feelings for him that were just being masked my my silly infatuations with other guys at the time?

A female age 30-35, *mNemification writes:

Ok,so a little less than two years ago, me and this guy dated. But, I broke it off, because it just "wasn't working out". Honestly though, it really wasn't working on my end. My feelings for him just weren't as strong as I had believed them to be. However, we were then fairly good friends. About a year after we broke up we began talking a lot more; he would call me almost everyday and we would talk for at least thirty minutes. After a while, he decided to ask me if I would ever consider going out with him again. I remember just having this feeling of dread. I just wanted a friendship with him, but for some reason I had always considered it as a probable situation for the future. I suppose I just wanted him to grow up a bit or something like that. So, I told him "not right now" but we remained just as close as we were. Nothing really changed. I also have to add in though that I didn't want him dating anyone else; I still don't. This of course is not very fair or right of me, but it's just the way I feel. Feelings are very difficult to control. Anyway, at the end of this summer, we sort of just stopped talking as much. I'm not sure as to why; Nothing specific happened to cause this, it just sort of happened. I was fine with it though; it did't really bother me or cross my mind that we didn't talk that much. I had just become busy with other people and events in my life I suppose. I wonder how he feels about all of it. But then, around December, I realized all of this, how we had stopped talking..I felt as though I'd lost a really good friend. I really missed his friendship. However, I don't see him often. The most we would talk was maybe a few times a week, and that would just be brief hellos while passing each other at school. I remember one time about a month ago where we said hi before class and we were walking in opposite directions. I stopped and sort of turned around because I was going to say something else..don't remember exactly what that was...but he sort of did the same thing..unfortunatley I just turned around and kept walking. I'm so stupid. Then yesterday, I finally talked to him again, like more than just a hello. I was walking toward him and he saw me, then sorta looked the other way, then back at me, then the other way etc. I just walked up to him and was like Hey, How are you, all smiles. He then smiled and said Good how are you? while simultaneoulsy giving me a hug. I said i was good and then we started talking about a few random nonsenses while walking..he was smiling, but he briefly got this sort of nervous look on his face..his eyes were going from side to side again. But then we were talking and smiling but then had to walk seperate ways. So my question is this: Why did these feelings simply arise out of nowhere? Was I in denial about my true feelings that were just being masked my my silly infatuations with other guys at the time? I'd just like to get other peoples opinion on this whole situation, and hopefully some advice as to what I should do.

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2011):

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A female reader, emNemification  +, writes (15 January 2011):

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2011):

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