| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: It all started 1 year ago on a site, met the girl of my dreams (personality wise to me she was the yin to my yang) but she just came out of a bad relationship so we taking it slow making sure she gets to know me better and likes what she see's. Things are clicking well between us calling everyday, messaging constantly that progressed to more intimate calls,. after about 6 months things were going good little ups and down like any relationship but we never had a argument or a fight just some minor annoyance (were human bound to happen),. as time progressed started calling and chatting less. as you get to know one another topics arnt as plentiful as in the begining (popquiz me 100 question about my online GF and ill get them all right) but we still have decent conversations as wel as the normal "hows ur day" we constantly hug, kiss, i love you in chat. After about 8 months she still reluctant to give me more trust like phone number, or pictures (i have 1),. when i confronted her on the subject she said she wasnt ready to trust at that level yet, so ok knowing about her ex relationship and her past history i can understand. A 2nd time when i brought it up being careful to make sure she wasnt feeling forced, i got a deeper understanding into whats playing on in her mind, she eventualy said that seeing a therapist might help her overcome the fears she was having, i agreed might be good idea i was doing my best to be supportive but im not a shrink so i might be lacking the skill or knowlage to help her overcome her issues. Every now and then i bring up the shrink topic and she says its once 1 a week/fortnight. they talk about her family and her, just to get to know you part ( from what ive learned over the last year, not much has been easy for her,. basicly mother terminaly ill so she took care of her mother for 5 years then her aunt took over and she takes care of her cousin a 14 yearold with adhd., father was a utter Ahole, 2 sister she barely talks to in another country,. and her Ex,. and her own health issues afew months befor i met her doctors found a blood clot in her brain. surgicly removed) So i understand the shrink isnt going to solve her problems overnight,. i mean ive been at this a year now and havent made significant progress yet.We all have our problems,. but everything about her i love the good and the bad,. when we chat/call things just click so for the first 7 months i was under the impression things were going good,. slow but there is progress,..Now here where my problem starts, im finding myself struggeling with the lack of trust from her side but still trying to be patcient i seriously love her, after a year i dont expect to meet up but things like her adress (so i could send her something on occasion) or mobile number,. so theres a thought in the back of my mind for awhile now telling me be alert, or it could be just me and the fear of losing someone i love.The only way we could make contact is skype on her pc, and chat on yahoo on her phone if she wasnt home,.but due to some money issues, her mobile got disconnect and when she paid the bill she couldnt get yahoo working on her phone again,. so when she's outdoors i cant contact her untill she fixes itI know she doesnt work or go to school and she lives in the house she grew up in and inheritted it from her mother (recently been transferd from owner)but when the topic came up on how she pays the bills she avoided it, im not sure if its any of my buisness knowing that??,. but basicly she knows just about everything about me besides my bank and passport number and i know a serious amount about her or so i like to think.recently she was ill, stomache issues and headaches from having the clot removed( some days worse then others since ive known her), so she taking the 1000mg painkillers hostiptal provides, so when she was online calls are short and sweet then she would go back to resting or she would watch a movie with her cousin and chatting abit with me befor falling asleep nothing much i can say or do to that besides making her laugh and comfort her letting her know i love her and wish her sweet dreams.so during one of our calls said she should have some of her friends over keep her company like they do every now and then have a girls night or what ever yous call it, next day she was even more sick cause she had been drinking and watching movies with her friends all night while she was already having stomache issues it just got worse so that resulted in 3 days of no contact and it just happened to be my birthday,.. normaly if she drinks with her friends its a 1-2 day hangover. I was a bit irritated with her for disapearing for 3 days making me worrie and for forgettin about my birthday but that lasted like 5min with the headaches+ pain killers and a night of boozing cant blame her,. like i could stay mad at her for long,..i asked her if she was happy with me and she reasured me that she was and loves me a lot, so now during the weeks to come id be at work and at night we'd chat/call but mostly its a few minute befor and after she makes dinner she watches some tv and chats a little then goes to bed and most wekends only spend afew hours chatting., was like this for about another week, then things seemed to go back to normal regular calls ect ectbut 6 weeks ago she said her mom was having fits and was taken to the hospital, so ofcorse she went and ended up staying 1 week,. when she got back the 1st wekend ,.she missed me, loved me and we chatted for afew hours about whats going on with her mom told her to spend time with her,.after our chat she went to bed cause she was exshausted so she's call me in the morning and we chat for afew hours on sunday,. monday morning she went to her mom she gone for a full week for the 2nd time (This next part is the last conversation we had when she got back from the 2nd week)[saturday 5:53:20 am][Me] : still cant sleep :( me need (schatje) -- (loved one in dutch)[saturday 7:48:20 am][Me] : omg did schatje come online?[Her]: :) hey[Me] : me was sulkin bad :([Her]: :([Me] : you gone a whole week again [Her]: yes i know :([Me] : hows it goin with ur mom?[Her]:not so good she getting worse so i havent wanted to leave[Me] : aaaw schatje :( (kiss)(hug)[Her]: (kiss)(hug)[Me] : schatje will u pls give me ur mobile so i can atleast call u 1 - 2 times a week when u stay at the hospital,. me worry's about you[Her]: i wont be away so long this time im sorry i just had to stay while things were going on and she asked me to stay :( i got to come home and sleep i cant function in that place im not sleeping[Me] : no need to be sowy about stayin with ur mom,. as for trusting me well thats just something we'll talk about later when u got less on ur mind[Her]: :)[Me] : i have to go out in afew hours and i havent slept yet :( was laying awake with 1 eye on skype other watchin star gate[Her] : then get some sleep grrrrrr[Me] :yeah right 1st time i spoke to you all week,. and im gonna go sleep ...all week getting up at 6 for work, seeing that u havent been on skype yet then wondering all day if u come and gone while i was out,. [Her] : (kiss)(hug)[Me] : now u finaly home, i steal ur thong, spank ur butt and pass out,. no im gonna relish the moment :) (kiss)(inlove)(angel)[Me] : so i guess u been eatin hospital food all week u didnt sneak in any pizzah did you:P[Her]: no (cheeky),. ok i got to jump in a bath and i havent slept yet :([Me] : oh no schatje ;( are you going back today?[Her]: for couple hours[Me] : pls come back afer ur bath so i can call u quick[Her]: ok :)2h's later[Me] : aaww guess not :( (kiss) (sleep) (angel)later that afternoon..[Her]: :( grrr im sorry i fell asleep got to get ready run to this hospital[Me] : aaw schatje, u wearin urself out :( it ok u know me love you, and always forgive you :P[Her]: i will sleep when i get back[Me] : i should be home by 5ish i think,. you try be awake so i can call u when me gets home?[Her]: i will try but i cant promise im so tired[Me] : i know hence the try :P[Her]: :P let me go get dressed before im picked up[Me] : (Hug)[Her]: grrr my rides here (kiss)(hug) still doing my hair trying to lol[Me] : Hahah :P aaw schatje take ur brush with you :Pi gtg too,. i hope to see you when u get back[Her]: ok :) (kiss)(hug) love you[Me] : (hug)(angle)(kiss)(inlove)that was now 3 and half weeks ago she said she will be gone for afew hours,.. now im worried to death about her,..she knows my number, emails ect so she can contact me and now starting to doubt.. looking back No yahoo on her mobile anymore,.still lack of trust from her so i dont have her number,.said seeking help dont know how often she has gone,. disapearing when she sick and lack of contact during that time,. and now with her mother she been gone 2x a week returning in the wekend but now almost month without contact,.im going insane not knowing 100000 things could have happened to her,. mabey mother died and she just want to be alone and this has just been a unlucky few months for us espcialy for her,.she always says she loves me,. just looking over our last chat i still believe she loves me just struggling to get a grip on things,..or am i blinded by love been played and the last few months were just the end game?
View related questions:
at work, cousin, her ex, her past, I love you, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 I personally don't trust online chatting so I'll just be brief. It sounds to me like she has played you and dare I say, fabricated a lot of excuses as well. She may have realized how much you have fallen for her and backed off. We will see what other Agony aunts think but that's my view.
|
