A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I were invited over to his brother's house for a bbq. His bro likes my potato salad so much, he asked me to make a lot of it so he could have some leftovers. Ok, no problem, I did. When we were over there, towards the end of the evening, we started playing the game Taboo. In Taboo, you have to describe a word on a card without using any of the other words listed on the card. If the person accidentally uses one of the words, they must skip that word and a point is given to the other team. If one of the words that you cannot say is "tooth", it should be obvious to most that you can't say "teeth". Well, my bf's brother said "teeth", thinking he was allowed to because the card said "tooth", to which my bf called him on it. (my bf and I were on a team against his brother, his brother's gf, and his other brother, who was quiet most of the time.) The brothers often get extremely competitive and are constantly arguing whenever we play games. My bf was getting very irritated that his brother kept proclaiming that it was ok to say "teeth", since it's not exactly the word "tooth". The brother's gf was even defending him, saying that it's not fair, that they should be allowed to "use a different form of the same word". My bf and I usually beat them at these games, which made me think they were getting pretty desperate for such cheap points. I finally read the rules just to provide proof, and told the other team they could't do that. I figured that was that, things were settled.But as we continued, my bf just didn't want to play anymore..they killed the mood for him by making him out to be a cheater when he was just playing by the correct rules. He said he wasn't gonna play anymore. I felt like things were awkward, there was obviously tension in the air, but his other brother who was actually visiting in town wanted to play still...so i tried playing with them. It got lame and my bf finally said he just wanted to go home. It was awkward because he said it sort of abruptly. He kind of acted like things were ok after he quit playing the game.Anyway, I got up awkardly since we were leaving and asked what they wanted me to do with the potato salad, since i wanted my container back, there was still a ton left, and i knew his bro wanted some. My bf was like, "he doesn't deserve any salad", obviously upset, but I was already looking for a container in their kitchen so I could split the salad. Since I couldn't find one, I asked the bro's gf to give me one, in which she ended up pouring all of the salad into. That agitated my bf even more, since she didn't seem to have any intention of leaving some in my container for us (although I'm not sure if she just thought I was giving it all to them), but so he left to his car ahead of me. I asked her to leave some for my bf, she put some back (like a quarter of it all), and I left.When I got into the car, my bf told me how mad he was that I still shared the salad when they were being such brats about the game. He said I betrayed him or was disloyal to him by obviously siding with his brother in giving him some of my salad that he didn't deserve. I just didn't want to get in the middle of it and thought I'd stick to the fact that I was supposed to leave some of the salad for them. My bf said his brother's gf showed loyalty to her own bf by dumping all of the salad in her own container. If that's the case, isn't that extremely immature anyway?I honeslty just thought that my bf was overreacting a bit to their childish way of playing Taboo, and so I didn't honeslty think that he did not want me to share my salad as originally promised. Plus, it was nice of them to invite us over and make carne asada for us in the first place- despite the fact that we probably contributed more to the bbq with beers, my salad, and other food i made. My bf says that I should have known how upset he was, and known that the "loyal" thing to do would have been to just follow him out the door...not stick around to share a salad that the girlfriend didn't even want to share with us...and a salad that his brother really wanted but did not deserve anymore.Was I really being disloyal to my bf in doing this? Please let me know if my story needs clarification. Thank you!
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (4 May 2009):
 Your Bf. Has issues with his brother.
Maybe cause their parent favored one
Over the other. Whatever the case .. This wasn't
Over potato salad and a game of Taboo.
It was who was the better man.. With the better
Girlfriend.. Ect. These two boys are extremely
Competitive in a bad way. They need to
Grow up and realize the are brothers for life.
Who cares if it's teeth or tooth. Who cares
If he gets potato salad or not. Your boyfriend
Is immature and if this happens again. Calmly
Tell him " I am not taking sides, I don't want to
Be involved in your immature behavior.
I am your girlfriend and will be there for you
But you are acting like a child and I will not
Involved. "
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Thank you for your responses. I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees how immature they both were acting. More importantly, my bf. I said to him pretty much exactly what all of you said. Sometimes, however, I fear that my question/story is too biased to get unbiased responses.
Nonetheless, it's comforting to know my feelings about this are not just "excuses for my disloyal behavior"...that I wasn't just being a fake person, but hopefully just a "peacekeeper" as one of you said. We've been together for over 3 years...I hope he comes around and realizes his childishness.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 May 2009):
I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Your boyfriend is clearly under the age of 12 and that is just wrong for a woman your age....
Oh wait he's not a child? Then why is he behaving like one?
It was POTATO SALAD! It wasn't even like it was expensive. You could make another one at home in about 20 minutes.
I know he probably has childhood issues with his brother, but seriously. Accusing you of betraying him is just silly.
Next time, say "oooooooh potato salad!!!!" let him sulk about it for a bit then when you get home tell him to grow up and get over himself.
Good Luck!! xx
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