A
female
age
26-29,
*atterytea
writes:I've had my best friend for about 5 years. He's a dude and I'm a chick but we have a really siblingish friendship, we're the same age and we often tell each other everything.But recently he's been kind of selfish and insensitive.I'm an artist, I like to paint and I plan to go to university to study art and then pursue a career in it, and he knows. Sometimes when he's feeling sad or stressed and he'll tell me, I'll paint him something to make him feel a little better.And I like to get weekend exhibits at some galleries to just show my work to people and try to get noticed a little.I'm having an exhibit in May, and a week ago he told me through text that he basically bragged to a bunch of his friends that he knew an amazing painter that was going to be at an exhibit, and he told them all to come see me. And that's all okay. But then he told me "can I send you a photo of all my friends, and you can paint them all really incredibly? And then give the paintings to them when they come to your exhibit!".And I tell him that painting's not that easy and I usually spend weeks on just one painting with very little sleep, and he just says "yeah well do it anyway".And I tell him that canvases cost money and paints cost money and to give them to people for free is well, a waste of money. He offers to pay for the stuff but I say it's okay, and I tell him alright, send over the photos and I'll paint them.Then he tells me to paint some characters from a game he likes so he can take a picture of it and use it as his phone background. He even tells me what canvas size to use so it fits his phone.And now you probably think he's a dick but in reality he's usually not this demanding! He usually cares about me a lot and if I'm stressed or tired he hugs me and tells me to take better care of myself.And I keep telling myself that if he was an artist and I wasn't, he'd do the same for me.But still, I wanna hear your opinions. Was I being a pushover by saying okay to all his demands? What should I do? :c
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female
reader, Batterytea +, writes (30 April 2012):
Batterytea is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys!
I told him my prices I give to clients who ask me to paint them something, and I told him if he wanted paintings he'd have to pay up. He agreed and felt it was fair c: I hope in the future he thinks twice before bombarding me like this.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 I don't think you were a pushover but I he think was a complete wanker for demanding you do all these paintings. Don't ever compromise yourself like this for him again. You have to paint what inspires you not what you are demanded to paint. Would he really do the same for you? I don't think so. If I were you I would tell him that you will not be doing this again and that he is NOT to put you in that position again.
By the way if I were one of the friends that you have to paint I'd be feeling faintly uncomfortable.
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A
male
reader, xgod  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 I would suggest you have him go with you to buy supplies for painting his requests. Have him foot the bill and refuse to pay for any of the supplies yourself if he wants it painted.Then tell him you will charge by the hour for painting these things for him. Be reasonable - say $5 per hour - and then do the math and explain to him that a single painting you completed before took weeks to finish and - at $5 an hour - that would total to about... whatever your math shows. Be it 5 hours a day every day of the week, making it 35 hour times $5 totaling $175 a week plus the cost of the supplies.Make an impression with the money and time and effort and he will be slapped into realization that what you do is a hobby, a talent, and most importantly an effort that must receive some form of compensation equal to or greater than the time and cost put into it.Then...Learn to say NO.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 April 2012):
 People don't often understand the effort that goes into a craft. That goes double for when they're proud of a friend who can do it. I'm an engineer, and occasionally friends will want me to do things that are way beyond my expertise (install a turbocharger in their car), or that are expensive (electrical work in their house). They mean well, and think highly of my skills, so they tend to gloss over the actual work and skill involved. I've done the same thing as your friend with an artist ex-girlfriend (didn't like most of her work, but there were a few legitimately awesome pieces).
Take some time to explain it to him when he's not asking for something, instead of waiting for when he's all worked up about getting a neat painting from his awesome friend. Bring it up politely, but firmly, and remember that he's doing it with good intentions.
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