A
female
age
36-40,
*azed & Confused
writes:Dear Agony Aunts,I dated a boy for about six months, but I decided to end things shortly after he graduated college. He was focusing on his career, working seven days a week and I would get to see him only about once a month. We ended things amicably. I wanted him to focus on his career, and also because I knew things would begin to deteriorate if we remained together under those circumstances.About a month after we broke up, we saw each other and well, we both confessed that we still had feelings for each other, but we also reiterated the fact that it would be best if we remained friends.A few days after our encounter, I encountered an article he had written on a public web page (he had shown this page to me when we first started dating). He would sometimes submit pieces to it about his personal life. The piece was about his ex.He wrote about how wonderful and amazing it was the first time he kissed her. He went on about how sleeping next to her was better than a dream. I know it was her because he described her. I felt awful. The piece spoke of her with such tenderness and emotion that made me feel like he still held her close to his heart. It made me wonder if he still had lingering feelings about her, while he was dating me. I asked him about it, because I wanted to know if he had still been in love with her this whole time. He NEVER responded. Could he be mad that I read this? Keep in mind he showed me the website and its contents are viewable by everyone. Or could he be feeling guilty because I caught him?
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female
reader, Dazed & Confused +, writes (28 July 2008):
Dazed & Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input. And "anonymous" you're right. I knew I deserved more than what he was giving me, and that's also one of the reasons why I left him. Thank you both for your advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): Well WHEN did he write it? Did he write it before he met you OR did he write it since he's met you?
If he wrote it a long time ago, before he met you, then perhaps he forgot to take it down.
But if he put it up since he has met you, then I would agree with you that perhaps he does have lingering feelings for her...I'm sorry.
But...from what you have written, I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but whenever I hear the line of "oh poor him, he was so busy with work, I am totally understanding of us rarely seeing each other, I don't want to bother him cause of his busy schedule" blah, blah, blah. Uh-huh, sure. Honestly, from experience, I know way better than that, so I don't have much sympathy for that line. A guy who doesn't have much time to see you is RARELY because of work. If a guy wants to see you he WILL see you. EVERYDAY if he has to, doesn't matter how "busy" he is. And if work is the excuse for not seeing you, just remember it is nothing but an EXCUSE.
Here is a very important lesson: Whatever a guy doesn't do for YOU, he is going to do for somebody else. ALWAYS. Its a rule of thumb. So if he could only see YOU once a month, I bet it was because he was seeing somebody else 29 times out of the month.
That he could only see you once a month because of "work" is bullsh*t. NEVER buy that line. Sounds like he was playing you, hun.
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A
female
reader, balletgrl +, writes (28 July 2008):
I bet he does just feel guilty about it. I don't think he was mad that you read it. He clearly wanted someone to find out or he wouldn't have posted it on the internet. He probably didn't expect you to find it though. He just didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you how he really felt about this girl.
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