A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I joined a "dating" website a few months ago, and am now in a stage where I'm going on real dates with guys that I've been chatting with via email. I went on a date tonight, that I felt like went pretty well. We were out for quite a long time, got along well, laughed a lot, and had one of those long drawn out goodbyes. He didn't come out and say that he'd like to go on a second date with me, but I felt like things had gone well.On my way home, I got a text from him saying "thanks, I had a good time tonight." I texted him back, asking "Is that a thanks but no thanks, or a thanks lets do it again sometime." Because when it comes to this, I don't like to play games. I wanted to know right up front if he wasn't interested.Then he texted me back with " perhaps its best if this just becomes a physical relationship." And that really threw me for a loop. The website that we're both members of is meant for people looking for committed relationships, and theres no way I gave him the impression I would be interested in anything strictly physical.So I asked him what exactly he meant by that, and he just texted back "Nevermind. I was just kidding."Whats your take on this???? Was he really just trying to be funny? Was he waiting to see how I reacted? Was he just trying to dodge the question of if he wanted to see me again?Now like I said, this was the first date. So it's not like I have anything invested in this guy, I'm just really confused by this, and curious as to what someone else might have to say about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): My take on this is that he is a guy, trying (as they do!!) to see how far they can go! Men are like kids in that regard -- they'll push to see just how far you'll let them go & what they can get away with!
My advice? Follow "The Rules" -- I love it. It basically enforces that women are worthy of being pursued & we don't have to go running after guys. They not only should be chasing us, but they actually enjoy it more when they do!! It dictates that you let him do all the chasing - which means NO calling, NO texting etc.. to see if he wants to catch up again. You let HIM do all that. This is especially true now that he's put the "let's get physical" thought out there... you really need to make him put in the yards so that he's beyond clear that you're more than just a shag!!
Happy dating!!
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