A
female
age
36-40,
*ola16182
writes:Alright so my bf and I are "on a break" kind of, as in we used to hang out 24/7 and were driving each other crazy. He suggested that we just spend a lot less time together, maybe hang out once/week, but still talk online and on the phone.Well see we went on a break 2 1/2 years ago as well. That time he actually said we can't be involved at all because he needs space, but that he was still "with me and promised he was coming back" he always said he won't go find somebody else. But secretly 1 week later he was already seeing someone else and lied about it and hid it from me while he was seeing her and me at the same time. He finally admited it after the fling with the other girl was over. We broke up for a while and got back together a year later.Well he says this time that he promises that he is not going anywhere, that he loves me more than the world and wants to spend forever with me. He left our status as "in a relationship" online, but then 2 days ago took it off and I asked why since we said we were going to leave it like that. He said it was because people were asking a million questions since he told 2 friends and they spread it to everyone else. And we had said we weren't going to tell anyone about the break...so theres a not good sign right there. He put the status back up though.And then last night he said after school he was going out to his friends hangout, and I was like ok but then this morning he was like yeah I went out there for a bit and then to my classmate's boyfriends house, like why was he so ashamed he couldn't tell me before?AND THEN this is why I am upset...ok just for the record I have really bad trust issues and I shouldnt have: but I bummed into his Facebook and there is a message from a girl in his class that says "Sorry but I think we will have to reschedule, would Friday work for you?" and he replied with "thats ok, friday possibly" and then she replied "Ok just let me know :)" so it's nothing definite of cheating but this girl is single and the conversation had obviously carried on from MSN which I can't get to.So from someone that cheated the first time, do these little pointers look up to the conclusion that he was just trying to let me down easy by saying "take a break" and is already trying to go out with the other girl?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): He certainly IS trying to "let you down easily"! Only its not so easy because you have all this upset and doubt and he doesn't have the nerve to come out and tell you its over!Being together 24/7 is NEVER a good idea. You both have your own (separate) lives and friends, jobs, school, activities you enjoy, SOME of which you do together, but all day every day, is just far too much. Puts a strain on any relationship.Not only that, but you two probably were not a good match anyway (that's the purpose of dating: you go out together and talk, have fun, discuss serious things to see whether or not you could make a long-term relationship work and be happy).In this situation, you need to recognize that this relationship is in fact finished. Leave it and don't look back!
A
female
reader, eh4ad  +, writes (18 March 2009):
YES! Move on and quickly, start dating! He did it before and open your eyes he is doing it again! This is not the kind of guy you want to be with. You desrve better! I know its hard but for your own sake you have to move on. This situation will lower your self esteem and give you even more trust issues. Get Out!
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