A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in this job over two months, this colleague is now more of a friend to me he is a senior. He is always helpful and we do get along but I am worried what his agenda is now. We do have a flirty relationship but professional one too. BUT- we co-work cases so we do exchange emails with attachments. There is a button on the email which means you can send the email and attach some one else to it (but this person's name appears hidden).He's been doing that to me with attaching my manager (secretively). I saw this by chance when she wanted my help and she quickly hid it. Why has he been doing this on the sly instead of just cc her. He doesn't even need to cc her for that !! He has done it with another colleague to that he just starting co working with.So confused, I thought he was a friend. Yes I have 4 more months on probation.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 What are you on probation for?
You need to read the fraternization policy of your company. It's not a good idea to get involved with your co-worker. Mixing business and pleasure is not a great idea, because it hard to separate.
I don't believe by sending your emails (unless you're flirty in them) to your boss he's trying to get you out the door.
In your situation, I'd advise you to be strictly professional. This flirting can end up getting you fired, especially if you're already on probation.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 January 2013):
 Stop flirting on the company email. Those should be about work and professional. That way YOU can not get in hot water.
Personally if you aren't sure of his intentions, STOP flirting with him all together.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (1 January 2013):
 I sometimes bcc an email to my manager or the manager of whoever I'm dealing with. It's no big deal, it's just a way of demonstrating to the bosses that you're dealing with a situation/ keeping them up to date. It's normal practice, so normal that it goes without saying, doesn't need to be mentioned and therefore isn't being kept as a secret necessarily.
Since he's a flirty guy, he may also be wanting to demonstrate that his emails and dealings with you are above board and professional. But since he's doing the same with another colleague, I doubt it's even that. Don't worry, I'm sure he's not setting you up. Maybe just tone down the flirting.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 Maybe he is training you guys and he is required to report your progress to the manager. When you first start work you always feel like everything you do is wrong. After a while you will see that these are just routine proceedures, just doing their jobs. Some people are natural born flirts, as long as it's flirty and professional, I don't see any ill intentions.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (1 January 2013):
Its never never a good idea to mix work and pleasure.As you still have 4 months probation re your work situation.I would thread very carefully as you said you dont know his agenda.It would be wiser for you to keep a professional relationship with this man rather then a flirty one You must know someone a long time before you can trust them even as a friend.Use your head and keep it professional and enjoy your new job. Best Wishes for the future. NORA B.
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