A
female
age
41-50,
*illing me Softly
writes:Okay big question.....I love him I know I do that's not the question. We were engaged a year ago, He got Major cold feet, left, got another chick pregnant, now he wants back in. Says he made a huge mistake by leaving. Says that we are meant to be togther, that no one could ever replace me in his heart. Huge problem! My parents hate him because he just left. my friends hate him, everyone I know and care about can't stand him. I also have 2 children who bring up that they miss him every now and again. So what do I do?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (7 December 2008):
 I think its a huuuuuge risk to take. Like others have said, what happens if he sods off again? Kids heads cant be messed with. Mine got hurt when I split from an ex a year ago (he wasn't their dad) and I wont go into anything with anyone again now until they are older. Its not an option, no matter who I meet because I couldn't put them through it again IF it went wrong. Might sound negative to some, but I could be as positive as anything and it still go wrong, how can I take that risk? It sucks at times, but sometimes we have to think of others before ourselves. You will get over him and your children will feel more stable it just being with you.
Yes they need to know sometimes things happen and people split, but do it more than once to them, and I believe thats why we have so many troubled teens these days personally.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.
C xxxxx
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Ask yourself this.. Suppose you take him back... What will happen if he leaves again? How will this affect your kids? Will it hurt more?
I don't think you should toy with your kids emotions. Bringing him back to only see him leave again can be problematic. This decision is not only about you, but also your kids. Do you feel that he will stay this time or run away again thinking he made a huge mistake?
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