A
female
age
36-40,
*ola16182
writes:Ive been broken up with my ex of 2.5yrs for nearly a month. He was verbally abusive but called it "jokes", would make "joking" threats but never follow thru, and the last month of our relationship he had mssged 4 other girls including his ex that cheated on him asking for them to "hang out" "go out for dinner" or "let me take u for ice cream". These arent old friends or anything they are single girls he's just met. I know about them but he thinks I don't and admitted to 1 saying it was the girls idea but it was just as friends. He blatantly denies the others tho and swears on his life he hasn't done this. He keeps tryin to get me back and askin for 1 chance and he'll prove himself and do whatever it takes: counselling. I tell him no and he cries and starts losing it: starts hyperventilating, says he'll fail out of school cuz he cant focus and only wants to be with me and might as well kill himself if I break his heart. He says his heart was broken in the past by his ex (the one he asked out last week btw) and that he cant handle it again. I dont trust him and wont put up with that behaviour and what he's doin behind my back.The thing, I am back in touch with a guy that we had tried to go out and make things work for the past 7 years on and off. He liked me first back when we were 14 but I didnt like him then. I liked him later on but he had a gf, he then moved across the country. He came back right as i started dating my ex 2.5yrs ago and he asked me out but I had to say no again cuz i was with someone. We are now both single in the last month. I want to go out with him just because this is the 1st time in 7 years we're both single and in the same city, and I finally want that chance. He's a sweetheart and throughout the years we stayed in touch and talked quite a bit. The only catch is that he has a baby with his ex. They are on good terms it just wasnt working for them. He isnt sure that he's ready to move on just yet so I haven't brought it up that I want to try things withhim.The problem: the ex. He wont accept this is over. Ive told him multiple times and each time he just cries and says no no it cant be and brings up the suicide thing again. He has also said "Its not over til i say its over". He scares me a little bit cuz he once tried to dump me out of his car on the highway at night and if i didnt get out he'd punch me in the face. i called his bluff and he didnt do it, but he also has a really short temper and yells really easier and punches walls. I'd actually be afraid to date someone else specifically for that purpose. He wont leave me alone and wont let it go. I dont think i have anything on him that I could get a restraining order for tho.What do you guys think? what do i do with the exboyfriend to tell him its over forever (or moreso a way to not fall for the guilttrips he pulls, i hate making ppl feel bad and usually fall for it)? And also what should I do about this boy from my past that has come back in my life?
View related questions:
his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): HELL YES, tell him that it's 100% over and he doesn't have a vote. Personally, I think you have enough to get a RO against the guy. I'd change phone #'s, email and be prepared to get seriously aggressive in dealing with this nut case. I'd invest in a decent digital recorder, a phone with a video camera and a couple of large pepper spray cans, and know how to use them all.This guy has all the classic signs of someone who one day will hurt or kill you. Cut off all contact, let him cry and threaten to kill himself, he won't, he's a coward.
|
