A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello, how is a man suppose, to go about, wanting to have sex with another man, I've only been with women, am just a little bi. curiousI don't know how you are supposed to know:1. What kind of guy, you can ask2. How you go about asking, if I do this.I want to stay in the closet. I might get to nervous, to even try, but its always been a fantasy.I know one guy, I think he is, am I suppose to come right out an ask him. I would just like to try it once, I like sex a lot,oral is what I like the most, am very nervous, about asking about this.
View related questions:
sex with another Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): You leave out an important detail. Are you married or single?
I don't recommend jeopardizing your marriage by exposing yourself and/or your spouse to venereal diseases; or cheating while living a lie. Curiosity kills the cat!
There are online bi-male organizations that you can join. They have paid-memberships. They are selective and are very discrete. Membership can be pretty pricey. That could be just your speed.
I know the most popular stereotype about gay men, is that we are promiscuous and always ready-to-go. You will find in your travels and research that isn't true. You don't really want to be with that type anyway. Not really.
There are a lot of stereotypes and myths that you've got to get past. Promiscuity will most likely come with a price-tag. There are plenty of hustlers. They will rob you blind, and are usually druggies. You want to stay in the closet, not be brought up on morals charges for soliciting.
You're well over 40, and guys aren't going to just throw themselves at you. Don't be insulted; but that's just the way it is. If you take good care of yourself, your chances of an encounter are all the better. If it's about meaningless sex or a one-night stand; people are going to look for a hottie.
I'm gay, and here's a few facts.
Just going to a gay bar isn't going to guarantee you'll score with a guy, any quicker than going to a straight bar and scoring with a female. It's being at the right place, at the right time. Creeping around looking like a stalker is going to raise eyebrows; and collect a lot of insults.
Be classy and charming. Oh, you'll learn the etiquette.
There aren't any pretty drunk-boys stumbling around waiting to get picked up. That's how we're portrayed in the movies.
You'll at best be sitting there for a while; waiting to be approached. You might notice that you won't be. People tend to be leery of unfamiliar faces. More mature gentleman may not get immediate attention. Unless you drive up in a Beamer or a Benz. Watch-out for over-flirtatious players. You'll be missing your jewelry and your wallet!
There are upscale gay bars. If you make a good-living, you'll meet very interesting men and you could get lucky; but they may want to date. They are men of means, and only the young gays get to frolic right-away. If you make a connection, don't expect to hit and run. If you're good-looking, you may have to date to get in his pants.
It just may take a few visits. It's as hit or miss, as going to any bar; if your intention is to meet someone for a hookup. No matter what you look like, or your age. You don't always get lucky on your first experience in a gay club or bar. Looks count.
They are full of very young men, and they are very conscious of body-image. If you're fit, you will get more attention. No matter what means you attempt to meet other men; we are just as picky about physical-appearance with other men, as straight guys are about women.
Oh, the older-guys look for younger-men. Just like in the straight-world, youth gets the most attention.
If all you're interested in is having sex, there are sites for hookups. They are chocked full of creeps, sex-addicts, and weirdos. That's to be expected on the internet.
You run a lot of risk catching STD's; or you may be jeopardizing your safety. That may be convenient for guys still in the closet; just don't trust the connection to always look like his profile picture. They don't require clientele or subscribers to be high on the morals and ethics scale.
You have to agree to meet somewhere to hookup. That can be really creepy. You have to provide a pic, or no one will followup on your profile.
Gay-dating sites charge fees and match you with people. They will not allow you to search lists of subscribing members; unless you provide a profile picture. If you're still in the closet, you might not want to do that.
You should visit an out-of-town gay bar. Bear in mind, it's a small world. You may run into a familiar face all the same. That could be a good thing; unless it's an enemy.
A visit to a bar is a good way to get comfortable with gay men and have a chat; so people can clue you in on the gay scene. You can warm up to the culture; and see if it is just a passing curiosity, or if you can handle it. Being on the down-low may not be welcomed with open-arms. Most patrons are open about their orientation. The majority don't care if you're in or out.
You have to make friends before you think you're going to just get some guy on his knees for you; or the other way around. That might have been behavior back in the 80's. People are far more responsible than that these days; although young gays think having new meds that pro-long life with HIV, is license to by-pass safe-sex and be reckless. People also lie about their HIV status.
If you are financially comfortable; here's what I would recommend. Go online and look-up gay vacation resorts.
Take a week off, and find a warm place. Perhaps in Florida or California. They have lots of beautiful beach-side resort hotels; and lovely motels with bars and pools. Great way to meet men.
You will meet men on vacation. You'll have privacy, and meet a better class of gay men. You will definitely make friends, and odds are more in favor of making connections for casual-sex. Then once you leave; everything done remains behind you. Like any resort hotel; check their consumer-ratings. Be sure they are clean, safe, and secure.
Highly-rated. Popularity counts.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): Just do it online or head to a gay bar out of town and see if you meet an interesting guy who's up for fun.
It's very easy to find a casual hook-up online. Of course you'll have to do a bit of research into safety, how to maintain discretion and privacy etc. but there are plenty of places you could go to find a guy in your area or near by that's up for a little no-strings fun.
Who knows maybe there's even a park nearby where local men still go to do that sort of thing. I assume the internet and social media has changed all that but you never know. I bet you could actually find a guy like that on twitter.
...............................
|
