A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have no choice but to leave my current boyfriend...I love him but I feel like we have no future. We want different things. Me: marriage, a kid or two, loyalty. Him: no kids, "labels," or marriage. So, I'm cutting ties before I fall in love. But, I'm a bit nervous. I've only dated two men! Both out of my race...I'm curvy, cinnamon-brown skin, 5'8 and am shy, soft-spoken. I'd like to date again but I don't know how to approach a guy or how to find one with values and patience. I don't even know if I'll be found attractive. Please help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): If you are not happy, then I think you are doing the right thing in ending the relationship. I can understand your fears about dating in the future, but that should not hold you back. Staying with someone you feel it won't work out with because you are afraid is not a good idea. You will be selling yourself short and holding yourself back from wonderful opportunities in the future.
Instead of feeling nervous about dating again, why not try and look at it in a different way? It could be exciting! You just don't know who you could meet and what could happen, and it could be wonderful! But what I will say is, don't put so much emphasis and importance on dating. Sure, it is nice to be with someone, but it is only one area of your life. There are so many other things too. So if things don't go too well for while, it is okay. It is not the end of the world.
Don't lose focus on the other things in your life too. Friends, family, enjoying yourself, hobbies, interests, goals and dreams, etc. Relax about the dating thing, let it happen and see how it unfolds. Stay positive, and have confidence in yourself! Don't put yourself down! But don't make dating the ultimate priority in your life. There is so much out there for you. There are wonderful things waiting for you to find.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): First, don't stop yourself with breaking up with this guy because you are scared. That will only complicate things further with a boy you see no future with.
Secondly, I think you are being unfair to yourself, there are so many guys out there, and of course many will find you attractive!! You sound pretty decent, so don't go out there doubting yourself, as decent guys respect and are attracted to girls who believe in themselves and who have confidence. So by staying true to yourself, you are bound to find numerous guys that are patient and with good morals, and that are attracted to you!!
Don't worry about the future, take it slow, go out with friends and slowly go out to new places. Take up new hobbies. Doing stuff that is fun will help you meet new people, and that the people you meet have similar interests as you. You're still young and there is no rush to meet "Mr. Right", so take your time, there will be plenty of great guys out there.
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