A
male
age
30-35,
*epito92
writes: Well I find myself always having this guy run through my head. i want him in my life and i wanna spend time with him. The problem is I'm 18 and he's 31. I've always thought of myself mature for my age. But being gay and just recently coming out I've never had a real relationship. This is a man who has spent time with other men and has had long relationships before hand.. he has no patience and is very stubborn. When we were talking i always found myself saying the wrong thing then i don't know what to do to make up for it. he gets mad at me cause i ask to many questions but i think it's because its my first time ever even thinking about being a real relationship and i just wanna know how everything works. should I just live my life for now and try to dating and getting some experience before trying again with him but i fear him being taken by some other guy, or i could just forget about him completely and move on but i don't want to i really don't want to.
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male
reader, Orkcus  +, writes (26 April 2010):
You are obviously uncomfortable with this guy and you should not allow the sex to influence you. Break it off and start again with someone else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): I am 25 and a straight female, so I do not share exactly the same perspective as you. However, there are many things that all relationships share, so I don't feel my being a straight, female, and a little older disqualifies what I am going to say from being applicable to your situation. Though you may be mature for your age, maturity is not knowing things before you actually experience them in life. Its welcoming, receiving and adapting well to those new experiences once you have them. You may have matured through many experiences, but from what you are saying, first-hand knowledge of gay relationships with older men is not one of them. You still have questions because you have not experienced much in this area. This doesn't make you immature, per se. You may have maturely adapted to other things you have experienced. However, your love interest is still miles ahead of you experience-wise if he has been dating younger men, or men in general, long before you came along. And different levels of experience between partners can be frustrating. You may spend more time being "the newbie's" teacher than being in a relationship with someone you can see as your equal. This can be true dating someone with little dating experience (old or young) or who is just plain immature, having had many dating experiences but learned nothing from them.So what is a solution? Try studying up on relationships on your own and discuss them with your love interest in a way that does not pressure him into being your dating teacher. If you're having a problem in your relationship, check out some blogs or books on the subject, see a counselor or friend you can trust. Then you can approach your partner as his equal, with some knowledge and prospective under your belt that does not make him your babysitter in the relationship. Now, you might fantasize about him being your babysitter, older and distinguished college professor, etc. all you want to. Dating someone younger or older can be sexy, fun, exhilarating, comforting, etc. but you will brust that bubble if you start to push too much on that dynamic and make it too literal, realistic. It kills the fantasy.That's my opinion. I wish you the best.
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