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male
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anonymous
writes: ok so I met this girl with a bubbly personality. I find her really attractive too (even if she does carry a bit of weight - no offence) but I don't want a full blown relationship. Trouble is I can't stop dreaming about her as a sex buddy. Is this wrong of me? how do I tell her this? what do women think of the sex buddy concept? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): Can I ask, if you find this girl attractive and like her personality, why do you not want to have a more meaningful relationship with her than just sex (is it her weight and how it might reflect on your image that is putting you off)? Why would a relationship have to be "full blown" anyway? What about starting a more casual relationship with her and just seeing where it takes you both? She may not want a "full blown" relationship any more than you!
As for whether girls are happy with "just sex", the truth is that some girls are and some girls aren't, depending on the man, the timing or just the girl's own attitude to sex. What I wouldn't do though is tell her outright that you only want her for sex, as if she's got any self-respect she'll run a mile.
You could try to approach this by telling her how attractive you find her and how much you fancy her (which isn't a lie after all) or even flirt in an overtly sexual way. Going by my own experience as a girl who has happily had "just for sex" relationships in the past, she will read that to mean that it's only sex you're interested in, and react accordingly either way. If she does respond positively and you end up having sex with her, please, please show her the respect she is due and make it clear that you don't intend this to be a serious relationship. If you sense at any stage that her feelings are becoming too involved for your comfort, be upfront and finish the relationship sensitively and to her face. You can only be honest and treat her with common courtesy, even if your relationship is only based on sex.
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