A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I recently lost my virginity at the age of 28. I had always wanted to wait until I got married but as the years have gone by, it's just gotten harder and harder to wait. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years and have known him for 8, so it felt like the right time.Whenever he has fingered me he has only been able to get two inside comfortably, anymore would usually hurt. But the night we had sex for the first time he just slid right in. He is about 7 inches and a little abover average in width. Even though I was very wet and very relaxed, it still hurt and felt like a really tight fit for me so he went slow. But as soon as he got inside he whispered that I didn't feel tight at all. We did it for about 45 minutes until it just hurt too badly and I told him to go for it so he could orgasm. I bled a lot that evening afterwards and the next day b/c we had gone at it for such a long time and I was incredibly sore. It hurt to even walk or sit, but a few days later I was okay.My boyfriend mentioned again how I didn't feel tight at all, that I felt "medium", and he said it w/ a pause. He just kept saying it b/c I think he was really surprised. He and I always thought he would break me and it would be like tearing me in half the first time. I just don't get it b/c it felt REALLY tight when he was in me and it didn't feel that way to him. Even the second and third times we had sex still kind of hurt. Could it be b/c he was wearing a condom? I'm worried now that I wasn't "virgin tight" for some reason and I'm just going to get looser and looser now that we have started having sex. Is it because I am older? I want to make sure it feels good for him.Any insight would be appreciated - THANKS!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 Sounds normal to me. Like you said, you were very relaxed and wet, and that was the main reason why your man had no problems getting in. But, I do think that was a bit insensitive when he said (several times?) that you were not "tight". Unless of course, he knows that you are always okay with honest answers (sometimes too honest for his own thick self LOL), then he may have just been answering you question (particularly, if you said "tell me truthfully")
Yes, it does get a bit sore and tender for a few days if you have not done it before, or that it has been a while since you last did it. After all, we are talking about muscle tissues here, thin as they may be. Think of the muscle pains and aches when you did too much exercise or when you use muscles that you have not used before.
As for bleeding, that may be something .. or it may not. Better check with your doctor on it, if the bleeding continues profusely (or more than just a stain). Sexually active women are always encouraged to have pap-smear check done regularly.
If you have a history of cancer, also have mammogram done regularly, perhaps every 2-5 years depending on the history in your family. USG is also good to do to check for cysts and myoms, but again, mostly when you have a family history of it. Or if you have severe pains when you have your period. Once you have these medical checks out of the way, you will soon be rid of worries and concerns when having sex.
Please do wear condoms at all times, until such when you are ready to have children. Or when you know you are exlusively committed to each other for years and both of you are free of STDs. Your doctor will be able to explain further in details to educate the both of you.
Cat
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