A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't much of a relationship question, but I'm asking it more along the lines of what people's opinions are about it. If your daughter's dreams were to: -Graduate from High school early-Marry the man of her dreams (who supports and loves her)-Concieve her first child soon after-And still go to college the coming fallWould you accept her dreams (since you know it will or has made her happy) or would you disown her because it's not the "right way" to begin life.I'm asking this because I am curious on how people percieve success nowadays. Is success accomplishing your dreams, or is success accomplishing your dreams in the "right order". Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 The best way for her to experience life is to learn from her own mistakes.
You can't approve everything that she does, you can only hope that you educated her in a way that she'll make good choices of her own. It might not be something you would do, but that's what she wants to do.
When someone discouraged you from one of your dreams, did it bring you closer to that person or further away?
The correct order for you might be different than hers. In England, they drive car opposite ways than in America. Does that make any one of them wrong?
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Why put the cart before the horse? College is hard enough with it's innate distractions, why bring a husband and baby into the quotient? I agree with the old guy (heh) Disown, not hardly, discourage her plan, youbetcha.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 June 2009):
I would support the graduating early and the marriage and definitely college but not the baby.
Baby and career do not mix. They make everything SO MUCH harder.
Go and read the recent question about a girl complaining at being sacked because she took so much time off to look after her kids.
Kids make you unreliable and therefore not a great student / employee.
Why are you so desperate to sponge off your boyfriend and give your baby a rough start in life anyway? Just because he can support you doesn't mean you should go for it. Why not get yourself to a place where you can have a double income.
Why can't you go to college, have a great time, establish your career and then have a much better wedding than you would have had, and be able to give your baby a nice home in a good area?
You have to ask yourself if you want your baby to make you feel better, or because you are a stable successful person who would be a great mum because she has savings and a house of her own.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Disown her? Good heavens no. That's ridiculous.
Discourage her? You bet. Taking those steps in that order just makes things more difficult than they need to be. Don't get me wrong -- I think ambition is wonderful, and I applaud the sentiment of "wanting it all" and being willing to work hard for it. But having a baby and then starting college isn't particularly fair to the child, and makes the challenging task of getting the most from a college education that much harder.
Now, my daughter might well hear me out, and would probably then go ahead and do what she wanted anyway. And I would love and support her regardless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): doesnt matter about the order as long as you get your dreams
and a man can sometimes stop that dream happening lol they are too distracting sometimes :P
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