A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am married with an 8 years old. I ma very much in love with another woman, she is my sweetheart from 25 years ago. She lives in ITaly and has a doughter of 8 years old. We met again and fell in love again... I left 25 years ago to come to England and she did not wanted to follow me, she was young and affraid to move away. All these years she thought I hated her, and I thought she did not want me. We discovered that instead we loved each other all these years. She got married, I got merried, and now after we met again we are in this turmil of problems. We love each other very very much, but she is not leaving her husband because feel like hurting him and her doughter. She does not love her husband and her dream is to come here to live with me. Now she decided that cannot leave them, she says that can live with her pain but not with the pain of her daughter or her husband. She does not want to separate her doughter from her husband and so cannot come here. I told her that she can stay there for a couple of years get her doughter use to her be separated and come here on holidays and week ends. But not even this solution want to do. Then move here with me. Is there any body who can give us a solution we re desperate and very much in love. Many thanks
View related questions:
fell in love, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much to all of you for your time and answers to this question. All what I wanted to know you have answere it. Love is not forever somebody said, or I love you until I find somebody better somebody else said. The moral is that there is no moral and as the french say in love and war there are not rules. Somebody else should get out more from their shells and see life as it really is. Life is only one, unfortunately there is bad and good in life. Surelly everybody or the majority of people intend to do good, and sometimes it does not work that way and somebody get hurt. I really appreciate all your comments and make a treasure of it. It really seems what the majority of people think about this particular situation. All the best to you in your lives. MAny many thanks again for your help. Case closed
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Oh that's nice, sting your wife along for 10 more years then dump her when she's moving into her elderly years. So thoughtful of you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): "...WE are not people that sleeps around with everybody, we are that kind of people that need to be in love to be able to have phisical contact..." Cheaters believe that they are "not that type" of people and they believe that their cheating is different from common cheaters.
So now for the next 10 years u both are going to do the dirty while married?
Her hb deserves better than this.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Just because someone else started the affair does not mean you are less to blame for the infidelity.
She is choosing her family right now and telling you to wait for her for 10 years?
SO, do you plan to live in a lie with your wife for the next 10 years until your lover is free to live with you?
Please find some common sense and live with the commitments you made earlier.
Did you promise "I will love you forever and ever to your wife...until my ex love comes back into my life and offers me more happiness?"
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): I hope i have not misread but why is ther no mention of YOUR WIFE. I take it u are married as well.
25 years ago u both were different people NOW u both are nothing but cheaters and adulterers.
How will your affair end?
In hurt and misery and lies.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much for all your good answers.
We are working on it as I am writing.
She says in 10 years time we can be together.
We trust each other because it a very deep love, is not a fling, is not light, it is a real love, deep and trusted we discussed about this many times and I trust her and she does the same. WE are not people that sleeps around with everybody, we are that kind of people that need to be in love to be able to have phisical contact. We feel bad about the cheating this is the reason because she wants to finish this contact, because it is not right. And I understand her and agree. We did it becasue we thought we were going somewhere with the relation and we were waiting the right moment for her to leave her husband. Which resulted very difficult because she feel sorry for him and stay with him out of pitty. This is what I do not understand. She is only staying with him becasue she feel sorry for him.
Thanks very much for the time you dedicate to me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): It doesn't change the fact she doesn't want to leave her family now.
For both your sakes forget her, have no more contact.If she leaves her husband and child and comes to you ..and you do the same......how long would it last? Would you ever trust her?
You have both cheated on and lied to your partners big time and the hurt this would cause your families if discovered is obvious.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much for your answers.
But I forgot to mention something in my letter.
She is the one who started again now! I did not want to because I had a family. She started it because was bored and fed up with her husband. We met 5 times in one year and has the most amazing sex ever. She also came for a week here and we staied together. She wanted to leave her husband, I did not trust her at the begining, and she was upset because of this. Then I trusted her and fell in love again and she wanted to move here, she had all the plan how to leave her husband... Then her busines went to crash and now she think she wants to stay with her family even thought she does not love him anymore. And I am left here with a dream turned into a nightmere...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): She sounds like a good woman but she has moved on and has a husband and daughter she doesn't want to hurt.
25 years ago you two had your moment your chance, you didn't want to stay there with her,you left for another country that she didn't want to go to. Thats when you should have compramised,shown your love for each other, but you didn't.
Your paths split and now you both have partners and children, not just yourselves to consider.
Leave her alone now and accept the moment was gone long ago. Thats real love.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Your lives have turned out the way that they have, because of the choices that you made all those years ago. If she doesn't want to leave her husband and daughter now, thats the choice she has made. Make it easier for her, and leave her to get on with her life. It is very sad that it didn't work out for you, but that's life, and just the way that it is. Accept it and move on with your life. Concentrate of your own family, and try your best to be happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 The solution is you stay away from her.she is someone's wife for haven's sake! She made it clear that she doesnt want to leave her husband and a father of her daughter for you.25 years is the far away past, it matters no more
...............................
|
