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anonymous
writes: Please help. I have recently split up from my boyfriend after splitting up with him he started ringing all my friends and colleges in work telling lies. I now have just found out that one so called friend spent nearly 2 hours on the phone to him discussing everything with him. I feel so hurt by all of this it hard enough knowing that my ex rang people to then find that one of them spent all that time on the phone to him. But the best is yet to come because I finally get to grips with what my friend has done and I feel that no trust me in work after everything. Then my ex sends me an email explaining that after the conversation my ex had with my work colleagues because I am in recruitment he felt that I was slandering his name and that he could no longer expect contract work from my company, which is false he is then taking legal proceeding against me!!!!!!!!!!!!I have now taken steps to protect myself incase this goes any further. But what do I do I feel that I cant trust anyone.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (31 January 2005):
 I think this is very much a case of sour grapes whereby your ex is trying to get in first and 'dish the dirt' on you, so to speak. He is obviously not happy with the break up and wishes to hurt you in the only way he can see how. This is why he is trying to turn it all on you with accusations of slander.I hope you have some other friends you can confide in? You need to have support too. The ones that have been talking to him, if you wish, you could speak to them and say how you feel let down that they have been talking about you behind your back over basically personal business between you and your ex. This may be necessary to say to the 'friend' that spent two hours on the phone with him. That friend seems to have a vested interest in all that has gone on. I wander why?I think you certainly need to consult someone in authority with regard to the slander case he is trying to bring before you. You will need to explain in detail what has gone on. What is most important, however, is that you remain calm and approach the whole situation in a more mature manner than what your ex has done.Seek out the friends that you feel you may be able to trust. I can assure you that not all people are like this, though there does seem to be a good many who are.If you find yourself lacking in close, honest friends, then see it as a challenge to meet and make more.I wish you very good luck.
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