A
male
age
41-50,
*man00
writes: Long story short. Went out with a girl for over a year. We broke up about 3 months ago because she thought she was putting more effort into us than I was. We talked and emailed after the breakup and went out a few times and seemed like we are getting back together. I hear she is dating a new guy so I wmail her asking for a second chance and tell her I am head over heels for her. I get a call from the "new guy" who pretty much threatens and then and email from her saying she never wants to hear from me again. What changed so fast for her and does this guy sound a little controlling and insecure. we are in our upper 20's so I am way past high school games. Thanks
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female
reader, PurplePayne +, writes (3 June 2008):
I disagree with the previous comment in that we don't know about the relationship in enough detail to know ho put in the most effort. It seems to me that you do love her, otherwise why go to all this trouble to find a way to reslove the issue? The new guy may be controlling, we won't know that. Or she may have just not wanted to be with you anymore, harsh i know but it may be true. It does seem strange that she was fine with you up until she got with the new guy but that may just be her way for reassuring him tht there is nothing going on between you so they can make a proper go of the relationship. I would give it a few weeks and then email her again. make it clear that you would still like to be friends but don't push trying to get back with her as this will just cause more problems for everyone and may result in her not wanting to talk to you at all. If she still doesn't want to know you then i think you may have to accept that she has moved on and try to do the same. Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 June 2008):
He may be controlling, he may just have heard that you are an ex who hurt his girl and then rang her up trying to steal her away.
He has a right to be pissed off.
As for her. She put the effort in, she cared about you and then as soon as she's over you, you come waltzing in to tell her you're in love with her?
She has a right to be angry with you too.
Either way, what ever happens with him and her, it's no longer any of your business. You had your chance and you blew it.
The best you can do is learn not to take your next girl for granted and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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