A
female
age
41-50,
*az75
writes:I was married, but unfortunately that wasn't going too well. Then I met this man how for the first time made my heart sing. We got together and we fell madly in love, when I got a flat of my own with my kids, he moved in. My man has always had problems being brought up in a all boys borstal his father had affairs and his mother left him, my man hasn't seen his father since he was a child. He has a lot of built up anger about this and Ive tried to understand. Then his ex wife wouldn't let him see the kids after they split, but I managed to convince her and now everything is working well for him and his children. Five years later, I found he was seeing a girl (21 yr old thing) from his work. I found out about this and he swore nothing ever happened and that he wouldn't see her again. Then he left a letter in her locker. He promised he was sorry. yeah right I hear you all say. The lass told me he couldn't hurt me after all I have done for his children. And if he wasn't with me then he would be with her. He told me he was flattered more than anything. A year has gone on and I find things difficult. His friends do not like me because I went to a party with his mates girlfriends and made a fool of myself, but I wasn't in my right mind. I said stupid things and I am truly sorry for it but noone is having it. I feel he has chose his mates over me. I am now shut out over something he caused in the first place. Surely if he loved me that much and was that sorry then he would say to his friends if I was not accepted then he wont be, am I asking too much, or am I just wasting my time with someone who just doesn't love me the same anymore. He also has been married and his ex wife says he always chose his mates over her. God he lost his home his kids his life once before, he's about to loose it all again. He refuses to talk about it or he get angry and then everyone suffers the rows especially my kids. What should I do - although I reckon I already know the answer, but how do you finish with someone your so in love with???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (12 November 2008):
 hi honey, my heart goes out to you. i was in a similar scenario to you 12 months ago. my fellas background was very similar to yours. one day i woke up and thought thats it! i've just had enough and left. hope you end up feeling the same. if he chose his mates over women in the past he'll probably repeat the same pattern in the future,men are usually predictable in this way. i want to be number 1 in a mans life. i find it too humiliating to come after his mates. good luck x
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